Page 23 of In a Pickle

“Okay, okay,” James said, “let the woman breathe, Kels.” Kels took a sheepish half-step back.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m a hugger.”

“It’s cool,” said Liana. “It’s great to meet you, too.”

James rubbed his hands together. “Introduction time. Liana, this is my roommate, Kelsey. Kelsey, this is Liana. Obviously,” he added, with a half roll of his eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Kelsey said to Liana. “I’ll stay out of your way today. I’ll be in my room. I mean, I might pop into the kitchen for a snack, but I can be super stealthy. You won’t even know that I’m here. I’ll, like, shield my eyes as I walk past the living room so you two can have your privacy.”

“Kels,” James shot his roommate a warning look. “Be cool.”

“I am being cool. I’m being the absolute best wing woman right now. I’m being, like, the opposite of cock blocking for you, while also being super feminist for Liana.” She turned to Liana. “James thought you’d feel more comfortable at his place if a woman were here, too. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that he’d never pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I’m here in case you feel uncomfortable and want to yell for help or something. But if you’re screaming for another, sexier, reason…”she smirked, and then mimed zipping her lips shut and throwing away the key.

“For fuck’s sake, Kels!” James threw up his hands, exasperated.

Liana smiled. She was secretly enjoying James’ discomfort. Plus, she very much wanted to have sex with James, and was searching for any indication in his reaction that he wanted to also. But she couldn't tell either way.

Liana turned to Kelsey. “Thank you for offering to stay here and keep me safe, but I don’t want to inconvenience you at all. I feel plenty comfortable with James. I’d hate to think you were throwing away your Sunday just because you feel like you have to stay here with me.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all!” Kelsey replied. “I love James — I love him like family, I mean. Notlovelove. You’ve got nothing to worry about from me. He’s like an older brother to me. I would do anything for him.” She beamed at him, seemingly delighted that she’d been asked to perform an important role in James’s life by staying home to meet Liana.

“Besides,” Kelsey continued, “I’d be here anyway, regardless of what you and James are doing. I’m actually in law school right now, so my social life is non-existent. 1L year. It’s hell. My Sundays are always spent locked away in some room or another so I can study.”

“That’s awesome that you’re in law school,” Liana offered. “I’ve heard 1L is tough, but then it gets easier.”

She whistled. “That’s what they say, anyway. I’ve made it more than halfway through second semester, and then I have aninternship lined up in New York this summer. Big law!” Here she added in jazz hands.

“Amazing. Congrats!” Liana glanced at James and saw the clear look of brotherly pride on his face. Liana felt a rush of warmth.

James gave Kelsey a playful knock to her shoulder. “She’s going places, our Kels. She’ll be a litigator in no time. I’m sure you couldn’t tell, since she’s so quiet and unassuming,” here James cracked a sarcastic smile, “but she wants to argue in court. She will be one hell of a courtroom presence.”

Kelsey stuck her tongue out at James in response. “Before you so rudely interrupted my studying, I was nearly done with my reading for class tomorrow.” She gathered up her laptop and a few papers. “I’ll just be over here in my room. Oh, and Liana,” she lowered her voice conspiratorially, “your safe word is ‘orange.’ Just scream ‘orange’ really loud if you need help. Otherwise, I’ll ignore any screaming and assume any noise I hear means you’re just having a good time.” She had the nerve to wink.

James looked as if steam were about to spout from his ears. “Get. Out. Now,” James grimaced, ushering Kelsey out of the room. Turning back to Liana, he groaned. “Sorry. She’s… a lot. Just… ignore half of what she said.”

“I like her,” Liana said honestly. “She’s funny. And she clearly worships you as a big brother. It’s great.”

“Yeah, I’ve always looked out for her, ever since we were at the same tennis camp, when I was 9 or 10 and she was 7, I think. She played high school tennis here in Miami at Swift High, then got a full ride to the University of Tennessee, but she knew shewas never really going to make it pro and decided law was more her thing. We’ve stayed really close for more than 15 years now.”

“That’s awesome. I can tell you really value your friendships.”

“I do. Anyway, back to our plan for the afternoon.” He gestured to the island, which was covered with an Instagram-worthy spread of food, including what appeared to be half of a roast chicken, two different kinds of smoothies, and several different types of bread and crackers. On the stove, she noticed two different pots simmering on low heat.

“Oatmeal,” James pointed at the first pot, “and this one is chicken soup. I made it myself. Just chicken broth, carrots, a tiny touch of onion powder and salt, and then shredded rotisserie chicken. No noodles, because I wasn’t sure if you would want them. But if you want to add rice, I’ve got a rice maker right here, and it’ll make perfect rice in 20 minutes flat.”

“Please don’t make rice!” she said quickly. “Once again, you’ve done way more than you needed to, but once again, this is perfect. Exactly what I need. Thank you. I feel badly that you spent all of this time cooking, though. It’s way too much.”

“Nah,” he replied easily. “I love cooking. I like having someone to cook for. I actually cook dinner for Kels and me most nights. It’s nice to have someone else here to cook for today; cooking for two is tough.”

“Well, I think you’ve cooked for about 40 people today,” she laughed.

“Yeah,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Fair. Anyway, can I get you anything? Or do you want to start a movie first? We’ve got all of the streaming services. Literally, all of them. That was the one condition Kelsey made me agree to before she would livewith me. I’m talking, Paramount Plus, Peacock, Prime Video, Apple TV, Hulu without ads, and Netflix of course. Kelsey’s greatest fear is that the TV gods will suddenly moveLove Island USAto a new streaming service that we don’t have.”

From behind a closed door, Kelsey suddenly shouted, “Ohmygod,Love Island USA! I’m obsessed! Do you watch it, Liana?”

“Headphones, Kelsey!” James yelled. “Jesus. I’m regretting this whole situation already.”

“Sorry,” Kelsey squeaked. “Headphones going on now. Okay, headphones are on. I can’t hear a thing. Seriously. Hello? Are you talking? I can’t tell.”

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