Page 27 of In a Pickle

“For that one, it’s a true open. Anyone can play. But for most tournaments, you have to have at least a 5.0 ranking to join. Pickleball has a ranking system called DUPR, as in, rhymes with ‘super.’ DUPR goes from 2.000 to 8.000, although nobody is close to an 8. I think the best player in the world right now is about 6.8-something. Ratings are pretty straightforward; most people can determine their own rating by looking at the checklist, at least until you get to around a 4.5.”

“And you improve your DUPR rating by winning games?”

“Yes, but how many points you get depends on how tough your opponent was, and also on the tournament itself. For instance, there’s a southern regional tournament next weekend here in Miami, and I’ll play in it because it’s local, but if it were far away I probably wouldn’t go, because it’s not a good enough tournament to improve my ranking that much. Oh, also, your DUPR can go down when you lose.”

“That’s rough.”

Now, James couldn’t stop thinking about Liana. He told himself to be cool, that guys his age waited a couple of days to text a girl after their second date. But he found himself unable to focus on anything other than planning to see Liana again. Worried he was wasting his valuable practice time with his mental distractions, he decided to fire off a quick text to Liana to try to get her out of his system.

James: Whatcha up to?

There. Not too forward. He threw his phone in the bottom of his gym bag and willed himself not to look at it until he was done with his practice.

After muddling through an hour of willing his mind to focus on pickleball, James picked up his phone, only to find a disheartening text from Liana: Just at home. Not feeling too well today. How bout u?

Then a second text a minute later, as if she’d felt badly about sending him the previous text: Hope you’re having a good day!

James immediately hit the call button. Liana picked up the phone on the second ring. “Hey, James,” she said hazily. Although she sounded pleased to talk to him, he could tell her voice didn’t sound quite like it usually did.

“Hey, Liana. What’s going on?” he asked gently.

“Oh, nothing outside the usual. I’m just not feeling amazing today. The perks of Crohn’s disease.”

“What happened? Did you eat something that didn’t agree with you?” He bit his lip to keep from asking the question he really wanted to ask: had he served her something she couldn’t eat when she came over on Sunday? Had she felt obligated to eat something off her diet because James had given it to her?

Liana barked out a humorless laugh. “That’s what everyone always thinks. ‘Oh, you must have eaten something that triggered your flare. What did you eat?’ Isn’t that the million dollar question. I honestly have no fucking idea. Because guess what? There’s no standard diet for Crohn’s. There are a few base foods most people with Crohn’s can tolerate, and then beyond that, you’re supposed to introduce new foods to your diet one by one. But sometimes one person can tolerate a food and another can’t. And if it turns out I can’t tolerate a food? I get sick for days. So when you have Crohn’s, you either have to play Russianroulette with your health each time you eat something, or just eat potatoes and white rice for every meal. Fun choice, right?”

“Shit, Liana.” He felt horrible. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was like that. I asked you an ignorant question.”

He heard her heavy sigh through the phone. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pounced on you like that. I know your question was well-intentioned.”

“Don’t apologize. What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing to do but wait it out.”

“Can I at least come over and keep you company?”

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Finally, she said, “I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

There was another long pause, during which James tried to fortify himself against what Liana would say next. Clearly, she was about to say she didn’t want to see him again — not just today, but in general. She probably hadn’t had as good of a time on Sunday as he did. Or she was doubling down on her original idea not to date right now. James tried to take calming breaths and willed himself to swallow his bile. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her now, not before things really got started. He knew they’d only seen each other a couple of times, but he really liked her.Please,he prayed.Please, don’t break things off with me.

Finally, Liana spoke. “I want to hang out with you again soon. It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I really do want to see you again.” James released the breath he’d been holding. “It’s just… well, the truth is, I really don’t want you to see me like this. If we knew each other better, maybe, but… we’re still so new to seeingeach other. I kind of think I want to maintain your image of me not… like this.”

“Liana, I really like you. Seeing you sick won’t change that. If you had the flu, I would still want to come over and take care of you. This is no different.”

“I appreciate you saying that. But it is different. This is gross. I’m… constantly running to the bathroom. Yuck. Also, it’s not just that I don’t feel well. It’s also injection day.”

“Injection day?”

“Yeah, the day I take my Crohn’s medication. I’m on a medicine that I take once every few weeks. It’s a shot that I give myself. Today is my day to take it. In fact, that’s probably why I’m sick today. I’ve noticed the medicine kind of wears off a couple of days before I am due for my next dose. Anyway, I have to give myself a shot today. And I don’t want you to see me being a baby about it. I kind of — get a bit queasy right after I do it. And then I usually get a headache from the medication. It’s just generally not a fun experience to witness.”

“Well, now I definitely want to come over. No one should have to do that alone.”

“Don’t worry about it. The first time I did it, I had a nurse to coach me through it. Then last time my mom sat with me. I could wait for my mom to get home again to take the shot, but I kind of just want to get it over with now. I don’t need anybody with me.”

“I know you don’t need anybody, but I’d like to keep you company. Would you be okay waiting thirty minutes? I’d really like to come over. Even if it’s just to sit with you.”

“I can wait thirty minutes. But — James, seriously, there’s no pressure whatsoever to sit with me. For the shot, or in general. I’ve been dealing with Crohn’s for years by myself. I know how to do it.”

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