Page 58 of In All My Dreams

She climbs in and pats the spot next to her. “I’m sorry I woke you. I haven’t had a sleep spell in years. Let’s go back to bed.”

I climb in next to her, unable to force any words out. She wraps herself in my arms and, within minutes, is fast asleep again. I hug her tightly to me, inhaling the scent of her, trying to memorize every single thing about her.

Because I know that the only way to keep her safe, to keep her ghosts at bay...is for me to stay far away from her.

I have to leave and give her no reason to come chasing me.

I have to break her heart completely and make her hate me enough so that she never comes back to Crane Manor.

Sneaking out of her arms, I tip-toe into the small kitchen and grab a piece of paper from the small notepad on the fridge and the tiny pen that’s hanging next to it.

My hands shake uncontrollably as my heart cracks in my chest.

Dear Georgia,

This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here. We don’t belong together anymore.

Don’t follow me.

Ian

I sneak back into her bedroom and leave the note folded up on the bedside table. I kiss her cheek one last time. “I’m so sorry, Georgie. This is what’s best for you. I love you, always,” I whisper.

Then I grab my duffle bag from the floor and leave her life for good, without looking back.

25

Georgia

Now

“That’s why you left me?” I gasp out, crawling out of his lap and planting myself on the other side of the small sofa. I glare at him as my heart cracks in my chest.

That’s why he left me? Because of a fucking nightmare? He left me alone in the world, with a child to raise on my own, because of that?

Not that I knew he was leaving me with a broken heartanda baby.

But still, this entire time, I thought he left me because he had finally realized I was unlovable.

My mother clearly didn’t love me enough since she tried to murder me.

My father couldn’t love me after my mother succumbed to her own demise by drinking the poisoned lemonade from the cup that was clearly meant for me.

I thought Ian had finally realized I wasn’t worth his heart, and I believed that wholly for the last six years. It wasn’t until I came back and he still treated me like nothing had changed between us that I thought maybe I was finally worthy enough for him.

But to know I lost him due to something as ridiculous as a nightmare?

“I can’t believe you left me because of that, Ian.” I glare at him, tears welling behind my eyes as I let the betrayal sink into my bones. “Because of a stupid nightmare. A nightmare I don’t even remember having!” I scoff, wiping at my eyes angrily. “Our lives weren’t supposed to look like this. We were supposed to be together,” I cry, my voice cracking in sync with my heart.

Ian reaches out and grabs my hands. I nearly yank them out of his grip, but his eyes look just as broken as I feel. “I didn’t want to leave you, Georgia. You have to believe me. I was terrified that I was the reason your mother’s ghost kept coming back to haunt you. Even now, you’re back in my life, and guess what? She’s fucking back to tormenting you again!” he yells, his voice completely defeated.

“And not only is she messing you with again, but she’s also haunting Auden. I don’t know what I’m supposed to doanymore. I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but how can I live with myself when I know that my selfish desires are the reason you live on edge twenty-four seven? The reason you tip-toe through your own home while checking every dark corner of every room?”

The pain in his voice breaks something in me, and I hurl myself back into his arms. “I would face my mother’s ghost every minute of every single day if it meant that we got to be together. I don’t care about her, or the stupid nightmares. I only care about us. You, me, and—” I almost say “our daughter,” but something stops the words before they can escape.

I take a deep breath, forcing the last secret I have back down. I can’t tell him tonight, not when what we have hangs so precariously in the balance. He forgave me for my part in his sister’s death—how, I have no idea. But he won’t be so forgiving when he finds out I’ve kept an even bigger secret from him.

“All I care about is you, me, and Auden. You two are my family, my whole heart. The rest of this? The rest of this is just extra baggage,” I tell him, pulling myself back so I can force him to look at me. To show him how serious I am about this. “We’ve carried heavier baggage than this, Ian. We can carry this, and keep Auden safe,together.We can’t let this break us apart again. I won’t let my mother take you from me,” I say vehemently. “And you promised me—the day I came back here—that youwouldn’tlet Crane take away another person I loved.”

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