Page 17 of In All My Dreams

I blink and tear my eyes from him, wiping at my lips just in case he’s not fucking with me. It’s been a while since I let myself indulge in more than a small glass of wine at dinner. I don’t like to drink when I know it’s just me and Auden at home. If anything were to happen to her, I wouldn’t be able to trust my instincts, so I just don’t drink often.

“I’m kidding. Your face is perfect. But I’m still waiting for that answer.”

I roll my eyes at him and take another long swig of my wine. I know you’re supposed to sip wine like a lady or whatever, but I’m more of a chugger, especially when I’m sharing a tiny seat with the love of my life. And I’m not supposed to want to touch him. Right?

“Do you have anyone special here in town? Maybe a fancy nurse? Or another doctor?” I counter, avoiding his question while I mull over what to tell him.

Ian sits up and grabs the wine bottle from the table, pouring half in his glass, and the rest of the bottle into mine.

“No.” He laughs and takes another sip of wine. “No fancy nurse or doctor in the cards for me. I don’t see myself settling down and falling in love and all that normal shit. Nobody wants a mess of a person like me, G.”

The wine is making me brave, or possibly sabotaging me, because I can’t seem to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. “You had me,” I blurted out, nearly spilling my wine all over both of us. “I loved every broken piece of you, the way you loved every shattered part of me.” I feel my face flush red as I take another gulp of my wine. I’m avoiding looking at him because I can feel the heat of his gaze on me.

“Is there anyone else?” he asks again. The husky tone of his voice pulls my eyes toward him, my stomach tightening under his heated gaze.

“No, there hasn’t been anyone but you,” I answer finally.

“Besides Auden’s father, right?”

“Yeah, besides him. No one since. Been a little busy raising a child on my own.” I tip the end of my glass and swallow the rest of my wine. He reaches out, takes my empty glass from me, and places both glasses on the table in front of us.

“Thank fuck,” he says, grabbing my face and pulling my lips toward his.

The heady scent of wine and sandalwood attacks my senses as I lose myself to him. Our lips fight to get closer as if this kiss can keep us from ever being parted again. His hands move from my face as his lips pull away from mine, kissing his way across my jaw, my throat, before making their way up to the shell of my ear, nipping it playfully.

“I missed you. Every second of every day, I missed you,” he whispers in my ear, making me moan against him, my body pressing closer to his until I’m straddling his lap. “I missedyour smile, your laugh, your body. But mostly, I missed your friendship. I missed us. I’m so glad you’ve finally come back.”

His words turn my heated blood to ice, my brain finally overthrowing the feelings in my heart. I pull myself away from him as his hands start to tug on my shirt. “Wait,” I say breathlessly.

He stops immediately, and it takes me a moment to catch my breath and focus my eyes on him. His hair is a mess. I didn’t even realize my hands must have been thrusted in it. His lips are red and swollen; I’m sure mine look the same. His breath is coming out in hard pants, matching my own.

I focus my eyes back on his. “You said earlier that you didn’t want to do anything thatIwould regret in the morning.”

His hands settle on my hips while he chews on his bottom lip. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Andyouwon’t regret this? Correct me if I’m wrong, but the first and only time we had sex, you up and left me hours later with nothing but a note saying you made a mistake and couldn't be with me.”

And you left me a baby.

But I don’t say that out loud. Even in my drunken state, I know that secret is mine, and mine alone.

“The only thing I regret is having to leave you the way I did.”

A loud, unladylike laugh escapes my chest as I push away from him. “You didn’thaveto leave me, youchoseto leave me. You say you missed our friendship the most? Well, nothing was stopping you from picking up the damn phone and just beingmy friend, Ian. I didn’t come here to fall back into your bed. I didn’t come back here for you. If it was up to me, I’d have let this place rot away before I ever came back.” I get unsteadily to my feet. “When you figure out why you really threw us away, then maybe we can talk. Until then, stay away from me, and stay away from my daughter.”

The last thing I see before I leave the room is Ian sitting there. His hands still reaching out toward my phantom hips. Instead, all I can picture is those same hands holding both of our bleeding hearts.

9

Georgia

Now

My heart is racing as I rush up the winding staircase to my room.

I can’t believe I almost let myself fall for him again. I need one of those metal wire brushes to scrub Ian Foster from my heart once and for all.

What did I think was going to happen? We’d fall into bed together again and live happily ever after in this cursed house? Absolutely not.

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