Page 70 of A War Apart

He wasn’t giving me many options. Not that I wanted them. If he was willing to teach me, I was willing to learn. I nodded.

He bowed. “Have a pleasant day, Sofia.”

I walked slowly back to my quarters, relishing the feel of the cold air against my heated skin. I’d misjudged Alexey Grigorovich. I’d thought he was nothing but an insincere flirt, but he’d been sincere today, focused. Not until he’d pronounced the lesson complete had he returned to the teasing banter I’d come to associate with him.

I’d enjoyed the lesson. The exertion had been a welcome distraction, and I felt safer than I had in a long time. Brazen and vain as he was, it seemed Alexey was just the friend I needed here at court.

***

A few days later, I walked across the dining room of the Frozen Board, heading to wear Izolda sat at our usual table.

She looked me over. “You look awful.”

I glared at her as I took off my coat and sat down across from her. “Thank you, Izolda.”

“No, I mean it. Were you mauled by a bear?” She leaned back in her seat and waved over the barmaid. “Your hair is frizzed out of your braid, and—ugh!” She sniffed. “You stink of sweat.”

Training with Alexey had taken longer than expected tonight, and I’d barely had time to change dresses before meeting Izolda. “I missed you, too. I’m glad you’re back safely. You look lovely today, as well,” I said, irony coating each word. I gave my order to the barmaid and turned back to my friend. “If you must know, it’s been a terrible week.” As ifterriblecould encompass learning that my husband and my best friend had both been killed by that monster Miroslav.

She frowned. “Why?”

I swallowed, staring down at the table. I hadn’t told anyone about Han yet. Hadn’t had anyonetotell. I’d done my best to put it out of my mind, sinking into my new identity as Sofia during the day. At night, nightmares plagued me, so I slept as little as possible, sitting up late by the fire drawing designs for new gowns and dresses.

But Izolda was a good friend. I could trust her, if no one else, with the truth about what had happened. Maybe telling someone would help stop the nightmares.

The dining room was loud enough that we wouldn’t be overheard, but I lowered my voice anyway. “I heard what happened before the battle.”

“Ah.” Her face fell. “Yes.”

“And H—” I choked on his name. He was dead. Even if someone overheard, they couldn’t hurt him, but I couldn’t say it. Couldn’t bring myself to actually speak the words out loud.

Her brows knit together. “Your scarred stud?”

I nodded. Tears pricked my eyes.

“Oh, Fia.” She reached out and squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Her sympathy felt worse than keeping it all trapped down inside. I pulled my hand from her grasp. I needed distraction, not pity. Distraction like my work. My vengeance. My training.

“I’m fine.” I blinked the tears away. “Keeping busy.” I gestured at my frazzled appearance. “I came from the training room.”

Thankfully, she allowed the subject change. “Training room? What, are you learning to swordfight? Going to join the army?”

“Dagger, actually, and no.” I nodded my thanks as the barmaid set a bowl of pelmeni and a mug of kvass on the table before me. “Alexey offered to teach me.”

Izolda thumped her drink back on the table. “Hewhat?”

Well, that reaction was disproportionate. “I came across him training and mentioned that I’d like to learn to defend myself. He offered to teach me the basics.”

“I don’t believe it.” She stared at me. “Alexey’s never even let me watch him train, let alone offered to teach me anything. And I’ve known him for years!”

“I’m sure he’s just being friendly.” I took a bite of the dumplings, savoring the taste of mushroom and onions. I was half-starved after training, which was another benefit; not only did it keep me distracted enough to keep my thoughts fromdwelling on Han, I also didn’t forget to eat. “Or maybe he wants the extra challenge.”

“That’s not ‘friendly.’ He takes his training seriously. If he’s giving up training time to teach you, especially in the middle of a war…” She shook her head. “He’s got it bad for you.”

“No, he doesn’t.” During our daily sessions over the past week, Alexey had been practical, to-the-point. He hadn’t acted like someone with ulterior motives. He flirted with me afterwards, yes, but he flirted with Izolda, too. Otets, he probably flirted with everyone.

“Fia, I’ve never seen Alexey give up training time. Foranything.Trust me on this. If he’s even letting youwatchhis training, he wants more from you than friendship.” She took a large swallow from her cup and shook her head. “He’s dedicated, too. If he wants something, he goes after it with everything he has.”

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