Page 95 of A War Apart

“Yes! By the Blood, yes.” He put a gentle hand under my chin, making me meet his eyes. “You are the answer to every prayer I’ve ever prayed and every dream I’ve ever dreamt. Don’t ever doubt that.” He kissed me again, softly this time. “I’ll come by tomorrow evening. Be careful, my sun.”

*****

I woke before dawn and hurried through the frozen gray light to the inn to find Izolda. She’d managed to get a private room, and she answered on the first knock.

“Fia! Thank Otets.” She ushered me in and closed the door, locking it behind us. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. You?”

She was a mess, her clothes and hair rumpled from sleep. Dark circles surrounded her yellowish eyes, and her face was completely colorless, devoid of the vast amounts of rouge she usually wore. She sank down onto the bed. “Worried about the baroness.”

“What happened?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. Miroslav’s suspected them for years. It could have been anything.”

“What about Sevken?” I couldn’t regret passing along the information that led to Borislav’s bloodless capture of the castle in Sevken, but I would hate to find it was something I had done that led to the baroness’s capture.

Izolda shrugged. “Who knows? They were taking them when I got back. Lady Heli was already in her nightdress—practically naked!” Her voice shook with rage. “She was walking on herown feet, at least, stately as any royal, as though they hadn’t just dragged her from her bed in the middle of the night. As soon as I saw, I ran back here to find you, but you’d already left. You weren’t at your quarters, either.” She turned blazing eyes on me. “I went to see if Alexey knew what was happening, and there you were in his bed!”

I cringed, cheeks burning. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

She sighed, and some of the anger went out of her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just—I panicked when I couldn’t find you, and then you were there with him, safe, while I was running all over the palace terrified out of my mind. I should have guessed you’d be there, honestly.”

Silence fell between us. Below, I could hear the clatter in the kitchen as the inn workers began their morning preparations.

After a moment, she reached for a bag. “Since you hadn’t planned to sleep with him, I don’t suppose either of you thought about contraception?”

I went cold. I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of pregnancy. It had taken so long to conceive with Han. But I wasn’t with Han now. I wasn’t evenMilanow. Who knew how fertile Sofia’s body was?

“Your stunned silence is reassuring,” she said drily. She rummaged through the bag, pulling out a small glass bottle and tossing it to me. “Drink that.”

I peered inside. A viscous green liquid filled it, letting off a sickly sweet smell. “What is it?”

“Potion from a Blood Bastard.” She leaned against the headboard. “It’ll keep you from conceiving. I keep a couple on hand in case of emergencies.”

I dropped it like it was a snake. “I’m not taking that.”

“Why not?” She frowned. “The last thing you need right now is a baby.”

“I can’t—” My chest tightened. Had the room always been so small? I walked to the window, pressing my head to the cold glass. “I—”

“Fia.” Izolda’s voice was distant. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t take it.” Was that my voice, weak and pleading?

“You don’t have to take it!” Cloth rustled, followed by glass clinking together. “It’s gone.Da?”

Breathe. In. Out. I forced myself to turn and face her. “I’m sorry.”

“I mean, it’s your body.” Her face screwed up. “Well, you know what I mean. I just thought it would be hard to do what you’re doing while pregnant.”

Another breath. “I know.” The sensible thing would be to take it. I closed my eyes and breathed deep. When I opened them again, Izolda was staring at me.

“My baby died,” I blurted.

Her eyes widened. “Spider’s Blood. What happened?”

I sat down on the bed, my breathing almost normal. “I was raped.”

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