Page 82 of A War Apart

I’d used him for release, a way to forget my dead husband and the pain I felt. It wasn’t fair. He deserved better.

“Do you want me to leave?”

I couldn’t make my mouth form the words. I nodded, staring hard into the fire.

He turned to leave, but he stopped in the doorway. “Whatever I did…” He trailed off. “I don’t know what’s wrong, my sun, but I’m sorry. So sorry.”

***

I woke the next morning no more rested than when I’d finally fallen asleep. My shirt was wrinkled, and not just from sleep. I yanked it off and dug in my trunk for a clean one.

Once I pulled my sarafan over my head and belted it, I felt marginally better. I rubbed some oil into the ends of my braids. The scent was familiar and comforting, a rose oil like I used to make from my garden at home. If I closed my eyes, I could almost believe I was back there.

But I wasn’t. I couldn’t stay in my room forever. I’d hired a new assistant to help with my growing stack of orders, and she would be arriving soon. I needed to go find Izolda. What had happened with Alexey…

I wasn’t going to think about it. But before that, he had mentioned things that I couldn’t ignore. A captain in Borislav’s army was spying for Miroslav. Borislav was marching on Sevken, and Lord Kazimir was going to cut him off before they reached it. Time was of the essence, and no matter what mistakes I’d made during the night, I had things to do in the morning.

My assistant walked into the room as I stepped out of the bedroom. She stopped to pick something up from the ground.

“You have a letter here, Sofia Stepanova,” the girl said.

“Thank you.” I took it without looking and tucked it in my belt. Whatever it was, I’d read it on the way to see Izolda. I could use the distraction. “I have some things to do this morning, so I need you to pack up Lady Yelena’s sarafan and finish cutting the green velvet for Countess Zoya’s order. I’ll be back by dinner.”

“Yes, Sofia Stepanova.”

As I walked outside, I took a deep breath. The weather was unexpectedly warm, and I opened my coat, soaking up the weak light of the sun.

I was halfway across the grounds before I remembered the letter in my belt. I pulled it out. It was unaddressed and unsealed. I frowned, curious, as I opened it.

My dear sun,

I folded it up and tucked it back into my belt. So much for a distraction. I wasn’t ready to deal with that mess.

Lady Heli kept a predictable schedule. I found her in the gardens, taking her morning walk. Izolda, as usual, was with her, following some distance behind. This morning, the baroness was also accompanied by her husband. They made a courtly picture walking together, her arm on his. She caught sight of me but didn’t stop.

“Izolda,” the baroness called after a minute.

“Yes, my lady?”

“I believe I’ll rest after my walk. I won’t need you again until dinner; you may have the morning.”

“Yes, my lady. Thank you.” Izolda grinned as she walked toward me.

I tried to return my friend’s smile, but I could tell by her reaction that the result was less than convincing.

She took my arm. “What’s gotten under your skirt?”

I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to decide if that was a figure of speech.

“Oh!” Her face was triumphant. “Not a ‘what’ at all! A ‘who!’ Tell me everything.”

I sighed. For a spy, I could be unbelievably bad at hiding my emotions. Now that Izolda had guessed, I’d never get out of it. I’d have to tell the whole story.

“Wait, let me guess. Was it a certain tall manservant we know? An incorrigible flirt who’s been in love with you since he met you?”

I shot her a dark look. “He’s not in love with me.” He just thought he was, if his words from the night before were to be believed.

“What happened?”

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