She took the baroness’s arm from me. “Thank you, Alexey. For everything.”
He gave her a bow, unsmiling, and she led Lady Heli through the door.
Once they were through, Alexey held the coat out to me. I reached to take it from him, but he didn’t let go. “You were spying for Borislav.”
I couldn’t look at him. “I was.”
“Was any of it real?” His voice was husky. “Or were you just using me to get closer to Lord Kazimir, to the tsar?”
I could feel the heat of his hand on mine through the coat. What could I say? It was selfish to tell him how I felt. We didn’t, couldn’t have a happy ending. He fought for Miroslav, and I fought for Borislav.
And I was married.
He’d asked me before to break his heart cleanly if I had to break it. But I couldn’t lie to him. Not anymore. I opened my mouth, still unsure what I was going to say. “Alexey—”
Izolda appeared in the doorway. “What are you doing, Fia? We need to go.”
“Coming.”
She disappeared again. Alexey shook his head, pulling the coat from my grasp. He wrapped it around my shoulders. My heart raced at his nearness, my stomach churning with guilt and grief. When he placed the hat on my head, his hand brushed my cheek. My breath caught, eyes filling with unwanted tears.
“Go,” he said.
I reached up to touch his face. “I’m sorry.”
His eyes were tight with pain. He clenched his teeth. “Go,” he repeated.
I stepped through the door, and he closed it solidly behind me. The sound echoed through my head with striking finality. Would I ever see him again?
Probably not in Sofia’s body. Not ever, if we didn’t make it out of the city alive. I tamped the emotions down until I couldn’t feel them anymore and followed Izolda.
When we reached Telezhnaya Doroga, the sounds of a crowd grew. The gate came into view as we rounded a corner, surrounded by a throng of people jostling to get out of the city.
“Wait here.” Izolda passed Lady Heli’s arm to me, and she walked up to a sleigh driver near the edge of the crowd.
A few moments later, she returned. “He’s agreed to let us ride on his sleigh until we leave the city. On account of my grandmother’s poor health.” She grinned at us.
“Izolda, no one on earth could possibly think she’s your grandmother.”
“Well, then, I guess you’ll have to take the part,” she said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes, grateful for the familiar banter to ease my nerves. She helped Lady Heli adjust her hat and coat to hide the baroness’s face. “Come along, Babushka.”
“Where are you headed?” the sleigh driver asked as we approached.
“My brother lives in Cadmist,” Izolda said. “He’s going to meet us outside of the Grand Duke’s camp—provided we can get that far.”
“I would have pegged you for an easterner,” he said, scratching his beard. “As it happens, I’m heading to Cadmist myself. My wife went on ahead, and I’m meeting her there before heading home to Kolteshko. I’d be happy to take you the whole way.”
“Thank you for the offer, but my brother would be furious if he couldn’t collect us. He’s terribly protective of his wife.” She jerked her chin at me where I’d climbed onto the back of the sleigh next to Lady Heli. Izolda took the baroness’s other side just as the crowd started moving.
My chest tightened as we crawled slowly toward the gate. City guards in their red kaftans stood on either side, scanning the crowd. They weren’t stopping anyone, but—
“You there!” The booming voice of a guardsman cut through the chatter of the crowd, making me jump. He was looking at us, at our sleigh. “Pull over here.”
The driver guided his horses to the side of the road where the guard waited.
“Destination?” He glanced at the three of us women, then turned to the sleigh itself, peering inside. I pulled my coat tightaround me, as if to protect myself from the cold night air. My gaze remained fixed on the ground, and I could hardly hear what was said over the pounding of my heart.
“Cadmist, if you please, sir.” The driver’s tone was cheery, unbothered by the guard’s brusqueness.