Page 109 of A War Apart

She made a choking sound that resembled a laugh. “No,” she said. “No, my sweet cousin may be content to lock me in here and let me waste away, but he doesn’t believe women are capable of masterminding conspiracies. He has some reservations about torturing those of the Blood, as well. You don’t happen to be a distant relative of ours, do you?”

I didn’t think she expected an answer, but I gave one anyway. “No.”

“Pity. I suggest you find a way to kill yourself. The alternative is truly unbearable.”

“But Borislav is coming!” I said. Of course, she wouldn’t have heard. She’d been locked in here for weeks. “He’ll rescue us.”

“He’s finally marching on the capital?” She laughed again. “Take what comfort you can from that, girl. You won’t live to see it. Even if he arrives today, sieges take weeks, months. You and I will be long dead before they can get to us.”

The chamber fell silent once more, the atmosphere growing thick and heavy. As Lady Heli’s ragged breathing grew steady, I struggled to suck in air.

Why hadn’t I realized? Just because Borislav was coming to the capital didn’t mean he’d capture it in a single day. My chest tightened, and my stomach knotted as I pictured what would happen once Miroslav’s men came to torture me. I wouldn’t be able to withstand it, not if the stories were true. Water torture, the witch’s chair, compression, and other devices too horrible to consider. Whatever they did to me would make Kazimir’s attack look like child’s play. Even if I could survive for a day or two, Lady Heli was right. By the time Borislav took the city, I’d be begging for death, having revealed everything I knew about Tsar Borislav and the rebellion.

The tsar had given me that potion for emergencies, for a moment like this, and I’d squandered it on a futile attempt at revenge.

The walls closed in around me. I couldn’t breathe. The damp dungeon air was thicker than water, filling my lungs. I gasped, tearing at my clothes.

Out. I had to get out.

I’d betrayed them all. Han was alive, and I was going to get him killed. Han, and Izolda, and the tsar, and everyone else whose survival depended on my knowledge remaining secret.

Silent, gasping sobs wracked my body. I curled up in the corner of my cell, the stone floor frigid against my cheek, and let my despair consume me.

Chapter thirty-eight

Borislav's Arrival

Mila

Iwoke to darkness and damp. I had no blessed moment of oblivion, no moment to wonder where I was, before the day’s events came crashing back to me.

Alexey had had me arrested. Why? Was he trying to save me from the baron’s assault, or did he think I deserved prison for what I’d done?

I sat up and wiped at the wet streaks from my face, hoping they were tears. Given the state of the cell I was in, the rancid smell permeating the air, I didn’t want to think what foul, half-frozen liquids could be on the floor.

“Lady Heli?” My whisper came out hoarse.

“I’m not dead yet,” she said wryly. “Much though I might wish it.”

Silence fell, the only sound a steady drip of water—I hoped—somewhere nearby. Lady Heli spoke again, her usually stern voice strained with emotion. “Was there news of my husband?”

For all her rigidity, she truly loved the man. I’d seen it in her eyes, the way she looked at him. I swallowed, my stomach tight as I delivered the bad news. “The last I heard, he was ill.” Gravely so. “That’s all I know.”

There was no response. I stared ahead, unable to see even the wall I knew was in front of me, and eventually drifted back off to sleep.

***

The next time I woke, it was to the sound of a door opening. Footsteps neared, setting my heart racing. Had they come to collect me for execution? Torture? Keys jangled, followed by the scrape of my cell door opening, and something clattered on the floor. The door closed again, and the sound repeated in the baroness’s cell. The dungeon door opened, letting in a sliver of light from the torches in the hall. The guard left, footsteps fading in the distance.

I crawled over to the cell door, reaching for what the guard had left. A tin cup and plate. I drank the contents of the cup—warm, slightly musty water, but I wasn’t in a position to turn it down. On the plate was something wood-like. Old bread, maybe? I nibbled at it. Yes, it was bread, but hard enough to break my teeth. I held it in my mouth, hoping it would soften enough to swallow.

“You ought to soak the bread in the water,” Lady Heli said. “It’s impossible to eat otherwise. Or you can leave it to the rats, I suppose.”

Unsure what to say, I didn’t respond.

She let out a humorless chuckle. “I thought when you were brought in, it might be nice to have a companion, but you seem as inclined to conversation as the rats.”

“I apologize, my lady.”

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