Page 108 of Bad Reputation

“Firing first, abs later.”

“Fine. I can’t believe this happened to me again. I used to be sogood. How have I stumbled into multiple work scandals? Like, I have now been fired by two different industries. That’s impressive for someone who likes to follow all the rules.” Her sense of self had been broken by the second firing, but despite what everyone thought of her, at heart, she liked to color inside the lines.

“You’re right, most people settle for one. What did your parents say?”

“I’m ignoring their texts and calls.” They would be outwardly sympathetic, but their horror would be palpable under the surface. Maggie couldn’t face it, not until she wasn’t feeling so shattered.

“I bet the podcasts and the morning shows are hollering at you again.”

Oh yes. “Hear Hercalled.”

“Oh my God.”

“They wanted Cole and me to come on together.” She hadn’t told him because he would be all for it. He was desperate to fight someone on her behalf, but she had to take care of him, to make sure that he got what he wanted, even if she couldn’t.

“You should do it,” Savannah said.

“You have to understand, I worked with Cole. It’s a major violation for us to be involved even if nothing happened on set. This position is so new, and there are still people in the industry who doubt that intimacy coordinators are necessary. We have to walk on eggshells and be total professionals to legitimize the field. What happened isn’t just about me but also about the value of what I do. Or did, anyway. Being an IC hangs on ... vibes and your reputation, and I seriously damaged mine.”

Linda on the phone and Bernard in her email had made it sound as if Maggie’s relationship with Cole was the worst thing anyone in Hollywood had ever done or could ever do. That was exactly why she’d resisted getting involved with Cole in the first place.

“I love you, Maggie, but you didn’t cross any lines,” Savannah said. “You weren’t his boss, you didn’t have any power over him. And vice versa. You’re two adults who met at work, and then, when that job was over, started dating.”

“But this job means holding yourself to a higher standard. How could someone else trust me again?”

“I’d think they’d havemorereason to trust you because you and Cole specifically chose not to start a relationship until afterWaverleywas done filming. You treated yourselves, your coworkers, and your workplace with respect. That shows judgment.”

Was that good sense, or was it rationalization? Maggie was so mixed up, she didn’t know. “I want to believe you, but that’s also the way of seeing it that lets me off the hook. I mean, I blew up my life for a second time in as many years because I couldn’t resist aman. Granted, Cole is a very kind, very funny, very hot man, but I literally threw it all away for love. I’m a pop song! Aclichédpop song! I just ... Does that sound like something a serious person does?”

“It sounds like something a happy person does.”

Happy.Now there was a concept Maggie tended not to honor.

The old version of her life, the one where she worked twelve-hour days for ten months a year—had it made her happy? Maybe.Sometimes. But a lot of teaching had been a grueling routine, with fleeting moments of sheer joy mixed in.

The life she’d been trying to build in Hollywood, had it been better? Yes, but there was no way to go back to that. The news of Maggie and Cole’s relationship had broken something that couldn’t be mended.

“Is it enough, to be happy?” Because being with Cole, it probably meant rebuilding her life all over again another time in some other industry. Maggie could have him, but she couldn’t have him and have that job.

“Yes.”Savannah at least had no doubts.

That made one of them.

So what then? Oh God, she was really contemplating this? Even with none of the practical questions answered? “What about my 401(k)?”

“You work at Starbucks, and you love that man, and you thrive. Seriously, Mags, I thought you were smarter than this.”

That didn’t sound all bad. Except: “But I want my life to matter.”

“Stop this. It’s like your mom’s voice is coming out of your mouth, and it’s freaking me out. Your life does matter! It clearly matters to you and to him. What are you, greedy?”

“No. But I might be a little bit ... proud.” A lot bit proud.

“Ah, well, if Mr. Darcy can get over that, you can do it too.”

“There you go, making sense.”

Savannah smiled smugly and tipped her face back into the sun. “So tell me more about this man you can’t resist. How jealous am I going to be when I meet him? Because even if you’re denying me Tasha Russell, I am meeting him, right? I’m only here until tomorrow night.”

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