Page 20 of Bad Reputation

He probably should’ve decided that before he’d taken this part.

“No, but I guess I worry about finding too much of Geordie in me. Like, I read the script, and part of me goes, ‘Why did I want to play this jerk?’”

A beat, then Rhiannon burst into laughter. “I have to tell you, I reread episode two on the way here, and he’s such an asshole! I’m like, ‘Girl, run.’”

Cole covered his face with his hands and groaned. “He’s Mister Red Flag.”

“But oh so sexy,” she teased.

That didn’t seem like much of a trade-off.

“Whyisthat?” Cole asked, looking over his fingers from Rhiannon to Maggie. “Why are we okay with his behavior if he’s sexy?”

“I don’t think we are,” Rhiannon said. “It’s entertainment. Just because you enjoy watching it on Videon with a glass of wine to unwind doesn’t mean you want it in real life.”

Cole caught Maggie’s eye. This probably wasn’t what she wanted them doing in this rehearsal. “I’m sorry. I’m slowing us down, asking these questions that aren’t really about anything, and I—”

“They’re very much about something.” There was steel under Maggie’s words. “This is exactly what we wrestle with in acting.”

“Absolutely,” Rhiannon agreed. “I mean, Madge isn’t exactly a saint. She’s going to steal your baby and frame your lover for murder. That’s some pretty dark shite.”

Rhiannon wasn’t wrong.The Heart of Midlothianwas a weird swirl of darkness and cotton candy. The book’s main character was Jeanie, who walked barefoot to England to beg the queen for a pardon for her sister. But Zoya had pushed Jeanie and her bland love interest, Rueben, to the edge of the series because, well, they weren’t very interesting. They were, however, much nicer people than Geordie, Effie, and Madge.

“So why did you want to play Madge?” he asked Rhiannon.

“Setting aside the, you know, evilness of some of her choices, I identify with her. I mean, haven’t we all had a relationship that wasn’t emotionally equal? Haven’t we all thought ‘I’m going to do everything they want, and then they’ll love me’? I mean, I have. I want to find a way to give her dignity, even if Geordie isn’t giving her that.”

Cole was pretty sure he’d been both people in that scenario, the one having fun and the one in over their head, but love had stopped being fun for him a long time ago. He could understand that Rhiannon, who hadn’t blown out twenty-three birthday candles, probably wasn’t there yet.

Geordie was certainly someone who still enjoyed the thrill of the chase, and Cole was going to get to play him while he grew the fuck up.

There was that.

“When he apologizes to Madge,” Cole asked, “do you think it’s sincere?”

Cole was still trying to decide how to play that moment. He’d talked to Zoya about it, and she wanted him to try it where it was absolutely sincere. She thought it would show he’d learned a lot.

Some tiny piece of Cole—the piece that probably identified the most with his character—was less sure Geordie had. He’d probably ask for some takes that were more skeptical, where Geordie was saying the right words but maybe didn’t fully understand them yet.

“I want to believe he is,” Rhiannon said, which was generous.

“It doesn’t help that by that point, she’s basically ...” Cole tried to decide what was the polite way to describe Madge’s mental state in the back half of the season.

“Having a mental health crisis?” Rhiannon supplied.

“Yup. I mean, it sort of undermines his apology if he’s broken her.” Cole reached for his script so he’d have something to do with his hands. He was feeling suddenly self-conscious. “Sorry. I know you’re all pros, and you know I’m not him. But we’re talking about this, breaking down all the beats, and it’s hitting me how awful he’s going to come across.”

“More even than the moment when he watches Andrew, his partner in smuggling, hang?” Maggie asked.

“Maybe. Yes. I mean, sex ... it isn’t always making love, I get that. But you should have respect for the people you take to bed. That’s like the floor of good-personing, and Geordie can’t do it. At least Andrew is an adult, and he chose to be a smuggler. Madge didn’t sign up to get crushed. So yeah, Geordie was way worse to Madge and Effie than to Andrew. No question.”

Maggie set one of her hands over her mouth, and he knew she was doing it to buffer her emotions from him. He didn’t know her, not really, but he was certain of it.

Did she think he was being silly? Unprofessional? Unserious? He wanted to ask.

He shouldn’t.

“What are you thinking?” Well, that had just popped out. It was too personal a question, but he wanted to know.

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