Page 48 of Lost Paradise

My words are suddenly cut off as Eve’s cries of passion echo loudly around the lagoon, and the smirk on Astro’s face says it all.

“Pervert,” he says, keeping to his original accusation.

My stomach churns at the word, but before I can protest, he continues. “She’s out of your league, mate. You should have already realized that.”

It’s not enough that I’m aware of my inadequacies, this bastard has to outline them for me. My fists clench tight, and I will them not to leave my sides because the last thing I need is to interrupt the two down by the lagoon and draw attention to us. After all, I know Astro will start a wildfire about catching me like this.

“You need to stick to your own kind of female, male, or whatever kind of creature you’ve fucked before.” He says, taking another large bite of his banana and I want to shove that fruit down his throat deep until it sticks out of his fucking arse.

He suddenly stops eating, taking notice of my silence.

“You’re a bloody virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin,” I grit my teeth together.

“Yeah, you are. Otherwise, why else would you think someone like Eve would be interested in you.” He tosses the banana peel over his shoulder.

A monkey would have disposed of the leftover food better than thisdisgraceful buffoon.

“Don't worry, mate, I won't tell anyone your secret, nor about you being a pervert,” he grins like an arrogant prick. "Consider it a favor. And you owe me one now. Remember that."

I want to shove my fist into his face, but all I manage is a muttered, "Piss off, Astro."

I saunter off, feeling the shame build up inside me. I can't help but feel the weight of my inadequacy crushing down on me. I hate myself for getting caught, for being so pathetic, for realizing that I'll never have what Zane or Mr.Coldwell have with Eve. With a heavy heart, I continue deep into the jungle, knowing that I'll forever be on the outside looking in, forever inadequate, forever alone.

We’re all gathered around the crackling fire, and the darkness of the night envelopes us like a shroud. Dinner is done, but the tension still hangs thick in the air after the embarrassing encounter earlier.

So far, Astro has kept his mouth shut, but I wouldn’t trust him if this whole jungle was on fire, and he was my only hope to save me. I’m ready to split this group and find a secluded spot to live on this island, away from everyone. I've been independent my entire life, fending for myself. I'm confident I can manage, even in these challenging circumstances.

“It’s kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering,” Jack suddenly blurts out of nowhere. “What’s going to happen to us when we get rescued?”

“We go back to living our lives,” I mutter, knowing Eve and Mr. Coldwell would never be able to carry on as they do now. I watch his face frown, and I’m glad I’m not the only loser to realize he can’t have what his dick wants.

Mr. Coldwell doesn’t fit in her world any more than I do, and it's not just because he's a teacher. She’s a part of a society that is not open to men like him. I know exactly how it feels to be excluded from that society even though, by blood right, I could demand my place in it.

“Well, I miss my Bessie too,” Jack says, “but that’s not exactly what I meant.”

“Bessie?” Eve asks, and it’s obvious she regrets the question the moment it leaves her mouth.

Jackresponds with a sly smile.

“Well…,” Astro blurts out. “Just look at that! Eve’s got a touch of the green monster. Never took you for an emo girl. You seem way too detached from your emotions and definitely not introverted enough.”

“Shut up, Astro,” Eve fires back sharply. “No one’s interested in what a felon has to say.”

“Hey, babe,” Mr. Coldwell suddenly realizes he’s addressing her affectionally in front of all of us but pretends that little slip-up never happened. “Don’t stoop to his level and drop name-calling. You’re better than that.” He tries to smooth over his slip-up, but I don’t think anyone cares. We all heard them the other night like freaking savages.

“So you’re saying he’s not a felon?” Zane chimes in with a mix of disbelief and amusement.

“It’s not my place to call anyone out for their past,” Mr. Coldwell adds, and I’m assuming he’s read everyone’s student file, including legal background checks the institution makes.

God only knows why Astro was accepted with his questionable past, and I’m not referring to his supposed time in prison. The Doukas family is a shady group hailing from a criminal syndicate that runs London’s less rosey underground business ventures.

“So I’m assuming you’ve read all our student files,” I remark dryly, and it’s not a question; it's just a fact.

“What exactly are you suggesting?” Eve quickly steps in to defend the teacher

“Just pointing out a fact. He’s had access to all our private files.”

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