Page 13 of Sleeping With the Vampire

“You… you…” her voice became soft, almost inaudible. She seemed to lose her train of thought. Her hands dropped in her lap and became immobile. It was as if she’d fallen asleep even though her eyes were still open.

I stood up, kissed her head and went outside. I knew my presence alone was tiring for her.

She had told me a long time ago that the part of me that was Guard was stronger than the part that was Beauty. She said even as a little girl, I was too feisty and willful, that these were not characteristics of her kind. She’d told me then that I would find it hard to find a man able to match my strength and ability, that they would be drawn to my looks and that I would find their adoration annoying. She’d suggested another Guard perhaps,but I found them too rough, too simple. I’d never even been attracted to anyone, had never wanted anyone to kiss me.

When I thought of the way that I had responded to Lucca the night before, I could barely deal with how easily I had capitulated, given in. I felt sure of the fact that he had somehow bewitched me, hypnotized me into lowering my defenses. I wanted to ask my mother about the bite marks and what that meant, but I had missed my chance to ask her.

I thought of an old friend, Alsha, who had trained to be a guard with me, but had then fallen in love. She fell pregnant right away and got married, moving away to a cottage in the woods. I later found out her husband was a shapeshifter, belonging to a clan of wolves known for their adherence to the old ways. I had not seen her again, finding her choices difficult to understand at the time.

But I wanted to talk to someone about what was happening to me and Alsha seemed to be the person I wanted to see most. I found the way to her house, asking for directions along the way and finally managed to locate the cabin in the woods. It was in an isolated area outside of town, but there was a clearing and the wooden house had been built there, surrounded by wildflowers. It looked charming and peaceful. I got out and walked to the front door, but stopped when I heard the laughter of children. I turned and saw a grown woman walking towards me. There were two little girls with her and it was their voices I had heard.

It was Alsha and when she saw me, she stopped in her tracks. Then, she seemed to recognize me.

“Izzy?”

“Sorry for dropping in like this,” I said, feeling a bit awkward all of a sudden. I could see the shock on Alsha’s face and had a feeling our last meeting might have been even more confrontational than I had remembered.

She recovered quickly though, “Girls, this is my old friend Izzy!” Then to me she said, “Come in, I’ll make us some tea.”

“Your girls are beautiful,” I said, and it was true. With their long, curly hair and rosy cheeks, they seemed the picture of health. Both were wearing simple cotton dresses, and were barefoot. Alsha too, seemed well. She was wearing a dress too, her hair was very long and wild but it suited her.

We went inside, into what was a big open space divided into a living area and a kitchen, with two rooms on the other side of a narrow passage. It was furnished simply but comfortably, messy with toys and clothes and the hallmarks of everyday life.

“Diran is out,” Alsha said, “So, we can talk. Girls, go play in your room please?”

I marveled at how obedient they were, they both simply went into their rooms without complaint.

“You seem happy,” I said.

“I am,” she gave a big smile and put on the kettle. “You thought I was making a big mistake remember? Giving up the excitement of life as a bounty hunter for this?”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I was a bit harsh, I think.”

Alsha grinned. “I think you said I was throwing my life away? Becoming some dog’s bitch?”

“Shit, that’s awful,” I admitted. “Sorry about that.” But he’d kept secrets from me too.

She shook her head to show me she didn’t hold it against me.

“I got it, you were always about the extremes. You didn’t think I could be a wife and a mother as well as a bounty hunter, and you were right. I wanted to have a family, to live here with Diran.”

“And, how is it going?” I wanted to know.

Her voice softened. “I love it.”

I nodded.

“So, why are you really here?” she asked.

“I can’t just drop in on an old friend without wanting something?”

She gave me a knowing look. “Not you, Izzy.”

I knew she was right, but that didn’t mean I liked it. I wanted to be the kind of person who was a good friend. But perhaps I was too much like my father, fond of my own company.

“How was it getting used to Diran’s… you know? The other side?”

She smiled knowingly. “It was strange, at first. You know, how he used to go out by himself, at night, stay out for hours. He never wanted me to see him change and I respected that. But there would be times when he’d disappear for days, then come home and sleep for hours. He would be exhausted, thin, covered in scratches.”

---