My heart fills with love and excitement, and I can’t wait to ask my men if they think—
And then I realize where I’m standing and with who.
Olivia looks up at me. “Of course I don’t hate you, Lilia. You had to sleep with them in order to free us. It must have been such a shock when you found out you were pregnant. When did you realize you were going to have a baby?”
I remember how I sat and cried on the bathroom floor, holding on to the positive pregnancy test. It feels like decades ago.
A shock? That’s putting it mildly. “In Trieste. My father tracked me down. He forced me to—”
Olivia raises up in alarm. “Forced you to what?”
I shake my head because I shouldn’t put this all on her when she’s been through so much and has her sister to care for. “There’s so much you don’t know about my past. So much I couldn’t tell you when we were locked up together because I was trying to protect you. My father was not a good man, but he’s dead now. That’s probably all you should know.”
Hurt flashes through her eyes, though she tries to hide it. “You can tell me. I mean, you’re here. There’s nothing I want you to hide from me, least of all a baby.”
She reaches out to touch Viktoria’s cheek.
I take a step back, holding Viktoria protectively to my chest.
Olivia’s brow creases. “Lilia, what the hell? Do you think I’m going to hurt your baby?”
It’s the other way around.
She’s going to hurt you.
“You don’t understand. I’m…with them.” It hurts to say those words to her because I know she’s going to hate me. I’m not just with them.
I love them.
The three men who put me in the car this morning with my baby, wanting me to see my friend again, and the sister that they rescued. I squeeze my eyes shut. I have to choose between my friend and the men I love, and it hurts so much.
But I choose them.
I’ll always choose them.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper through my tears. “I’ll go. You don’t have to look at me. You will never see me again, or them. They’ll never come here. You and your sister are safe. I’m so sorry for disturbing you.”
Juliet has drawn away from us to give us some privacy, but she hurries forward to get the car door for me.
“Wait.”
Olivia crunches over the gravel toward us and I turn slowly back to her.
There’s so much pain in her eyes as she gazes at the child, but softness, too. Finally, she raises her eyes to mine. “I don’t know how this happened, but I believe in what you did for us.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and close my eyes briefly. It would have broken my heart to hear her say that she should never have believed in Number Eleven, after all.
“I can’t say I’m not shocked. I don’t understand how you could…how they could…” She trails off, staring at Viktoria. Then she lifts her gaze to mine. “But if anyone could, it’s you. The scarred one…” She frowns, trying to think of his name.
“Konstantin.”
“Konstantin. Is he being a father? Is he a good father?”
I recall finding him at his desk with Viktoria in his arms, typing one-handed as he talked softly to her. Kirill standing at the window with her and pointing out all the birds, giving her the Russian names. Elyah feeding her with a bottle and smiling as he told her she was going to grow up as strong as her papas and clever like her mother.
“He is. They all are.”
Her eyes widen. “All? All three of them? Even the crazy one?”