“There,” she finishes with a sigh. “Now you know everything.”
With my eyes still closed, I murmur, “I know more than you think.”
“Oh?”
“I know that you’re beautiful, proud, and strong. I know that you are happy that your father is dead, though sometimes late at night you worry if this makes you bloodthirsty and callous. Do not bother wasting your time with those thoughts,malyshka.”
After the lies he told about Lilia and the baby, Aran Brazhensky deserved to die like a dog in the street.
I reach up and caress her cheek. “And I know that you want to run from me once this baby is born.”
I feel Lilia’s expression stiffen. I wonder if she’s going to lie to me and say it’s not true. These past few weeks have been as close to bliss as I have ever known. Elyah is happy. Even though there hasn’t been any bloodshed or mayhem, Kirill seems relaxed. The baby will arrive soon, but I’m not foolish enough to believe that we’re all going to live happily ever after.
A moment later, Lilia resumes her stroking of my brow. “I haven’t decided anything. Who betrayed you and made you hate women so much?”
Offering me a bargain, is she? Open yourself up to me and I might consider staying. I grind my teeth together in annoyance. “A woman.”
“Did you love her?”
I laugh without humor. “I suppose I did. It’s difficult to remember feeling anything but hate for that bitch.”
I feel her flinch at my harsh words. “You loved this woman, and you can speak of her this way?”
“All this talk of love is irrelevant,” I murmur. “Elyah loves you. Kirill does, too, in his strange way. But for me, there is power and there is us, and that is all that matters. I have the power to look after you and this child and that is all that should concern you.”
“You’re saying you won’t love our child?”
A pang goes through my chest, and I find her hand and squeeze her fingers. “A child is different,” I say softly. “Of course I will love our child, and when the baby is born, I want you to marry me.”
“What about Elyah and Kirill?”
“Marry them, too, if you want. They are already in our bed. They will get you pregnant again soon enough, and they should be your husbands as well.”
I stroke her belly as I think about it. I even like the idea. Elyah is hungry to get his child in Lilia, and so is Kirill. I smile to myself because maybe I’ll beat them both. Again, if this baby is mine. A little healthy competition over our woman should be fun.
“You want me to marry you and wear your ring, and sleep with your friends? What kind ofPakhanare you?”
“A clever one. A strong one. I have not been beaten by a man since I was fifteen years old.”
“And a woman?”
I hesitate. Just a few weeks ago, I would have told her to mind her own business, but in this darkened room with my head in her lap, my defenses are down. “Women have always been my blind spot. My weakness. And you’re my greatest weakness of all.”
“A woman shot you,” she guesses, running her fingers down my scar.
“She did.”
“Who was it?”
I sigh. “Malyshka, I was having happy thoughts about the three of us getting you pregnant again. Please don’t spoil it by dredging up my past and giving me another headache.”
“The past is important. It helps me understand you. There aren’t many men who would be willing to share his bride with his friends.”
“We’re not like other men. We’re your men.” It doesn’t feel like we are sharing Lilia. I don’t have to remind myself to compromise or play fair with Elyah and Kirill. It just works because the three of us always have. First there was Kirill and me, all those years ago when I was starting out on my own and Kirill was sixteen. Then Kirill and Elyah in prison, and finally, the three of us. We have always worked so well together, and now we’ve found our woman.
“Some would call it perverted.”
I laugh, and the sound is bitter. “Do you think so? Perhaps my judgment is off. I have seen things in my life that are far more perverted.”