Page 17 of Crowned

I push my fingers through my hair and moan. Married to Konstantin? That would be even worse than being married to Ivan. My husband could torture me whenever he felt like it and use our child to force me to do whatever he asks. He’ll let Elyah and Kirill screw me and torment me, and when he’s finally bored with me, he’ll slit my throat.

I open my eyes to try and dispel the horrible images that are dancing through my mind, and my eyes land on my worst nightmare.

Two lines.

Pregnant.

I clamp my hand over a sob that rises up my throat and sink down onto the bathroom mat. Tears run over my fingers. I had to fight for my freedom with my bare hands, but it hasn’t been enough. I’m trapped all over again, and now I’ve trapped a child with me.

I grapple on the vanity for the test and hold it up before my eyes, hoping I saw it wrong the first time, but I didn’t. There won’t be any tender moments of Konstantin or Elyah cradling this baby. There’ll only be terror, pain, and sorrow.

There’s a sharp rap on the door and Dad calls, “Well? What does it say?”

That my life is over. Really and truly over. I can’t protect this child. I can’t even keep myself safe.

I stand up, open the door, and show him the test. “I’m pregnant.”

Dad stares at me in shock. He takes the test from me and stares at it while he turns a mottled shade of red.

“Who is the father?” he roars, throwing the test onto the carpet and cursing in Russian.

I shake my head, and realize he thinks I’m refusing to tell him. “I don’t know.”

“You don’tknow? You disgusting woman. How many weeks?”

“Five.”

“We’ll take care of it back in America. Come on.”

He grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the door, but I resist him. “What do you mean, take care of it?”

“Get rid of it, of course.”

Get rid of my baby.

Killmy baby.

I yank my wrist from his grasp. “You want me to get an abortion?”

“Of course get an abortion. You can’t even name the father and you want to bring this brat into the world? What happened to your precious career? What about my plans to clear your name and find you a husband? No man will want you if you keep this child.”

My hands splay over my belly. I can’t predict what’s going to happen next. This child could live a life of fear and suffering at the hands of a father who is far crueler than my own. That man could be Elyah, Konstantin, or another man of Dad’s choosing.

I can’t feel anything beneath the flesh of my flat stomach, but I know that this baby is in there, snug and protected. Fierce protectiveness flares through me, and I know I would sooner throw myself off a cliff again than hurt this child. If Dad, Konstantin, or Elyah try to take it from me, I will fight them until there’s no strength left in my limbs.

This is my baby, not theirs.

Get rid of it? As terrified as I am, that’s not going to happen.

Dad reaches for me again, but I pull away. “Go to hell. You’re not deciding the fate of another person like they’re an inconvenience to be dealt with.”

“You’ve made an unholy fucking mess of your life, Lilia. I’ll decide what’s right from now on. Now, get downstairs and get into the car. We’re going to the airport and taking the next flight back to the States. As soon as we land, I’m taking you to a doctor and we’re getting rid of this brat.”

My blood turns cold hearing him talk about an unborn baby in such callous terms. “This is your grandchild you’re talking about.”

“This is not my grandchild! My grandchildren are the sons and daughters that you will bear with your husband, not some foul little offspring of a nobody. I could’ve already been a grandfather if you hadn’t been a careless and selfish bitch like always. Ivan told me how you lost his baby. The one thing you’re good for and you couldn’t even do that right.”

It’s one thing to hear the nasty voices in your own mind tell you that you’re damaged goods. It’s another to hear their words blasted in your face by your own father.

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