Page 89 of Crossed Sticks

His careful choice of words set off alarms in my mind. “You were in Buffalo? Or did he go to Chicago?”

“Buffalo. It’s…” He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

My pent-up anger boiled over. “What game are you playing? Do you have any idea of the hell you caused? And now you’re back?” A horrible thought hit me. “Did Luca ask you to come?”

“He doesn’t know I’m here.” Caleb’s voice rose, but he regained control. “I understand why you’re pissed at me, but please listen. This isn’t about me. It’s about Luca’s well-being and your relationship. Let me finish, then you can yell all you want.”

I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to stay calm. “I’m scared, Caleb. Please tell me what’s going on with Luca.”

“Full disclosure, he told me what happened between you two. I feel awful about my part in it, but as I said, this isn’t about me. After you left for camp, Luca… he deteriorated.”

“What the hell does that mean? Speak fucking English.” Though I felt like strangling Caleb, I forced myself to sit back and wait.

“You know he’s struggled with depression before, right?”

“Yes.” A cold dread settled in my stomach.

“It got bad after you left the first time, but he pulled himself together when you came back to talk. Then you left again—to come here, right?”

I nodded.

“After that, he went downhill drastically. Stopped eating, wouldn’t talk to anyone—just stayed in bed all day. He said he messaged you, but your replies didn’t tell him much. Then you didn’t text at all.”

“There was only one day like that, and it was an accident. My phone… I don’t know, I typed a message but must not have sent it.” My words felt weak as I tried to explain.

Caleb tilted his head. “How could that happen?”

“It’s fucking busy here. This is a professional training camp, in case you didn’t notice.” I held up a hand, fighting for control. “Maybe I was interrupted. I don’t know, but I texted him the next day and explained.” When Caleb said nothing, I added, “He never responded.”

Caleb stared at me, flipping his hair back with a gesture that made my blood boil. He’d done the same thing the morning I’d gone upstairs. “Why the fuck are you here, anyway? And if Luca’s so upset about that one goddamn day, why hasn’t he replied? Fuck that, why isn’t he here asking me himself?” A terrible thought hit me. “Don’t tell me he sent you to break up with me.”

“Like I said, he doesn’t know I’m here, and he’d be mad as hell if he did.”

As teammates shouted in another part of the building, I struggled to control my anger so I didn’t break Caleb’s jaw.

He took a deep breath. “How much do you know about depression?”

“Too much. My mom went through it when I was in high school.”

“Then you’ll understand better than most. Luca took some crackers and water upstairs, but he couldn’t eat anything. He was incredibly upset and only got out of bed to use the bathroom. This went on for about two weeks, I think, and when you didn’t text him that time, he thought you’d decided to break things off. His phone died, but it took him a few days to find the charger. By then, he’d gotten sick. His system was shutting down because of stress and lack of nutrition.”

“He didn’t eat at all, just went to bed? Who does that? No wonder he got sick.”

“He wasn’t thinking clearly, Harper.”

“No shit.” Dread gnawed at the edges of my mind, but anger was safer than fear. “He could’ve still texted even if he wasn’t feeling well.”

Caleb leaned in, close enough for me to smell a faint trace of his cologne. “After Luca found the charger and his phone came back to life, he passed out before he could read your messages. At some point, he woke up enough to call 911.”

My heart pounded so hard I put a hand on my chest. “The fuck?”

“The paramedics found him on the floor and took him to the hospital. Once the doctors got him stabilized, they realized he was depressed and transferred him to the psych ward. They didn’t give him his phone until today, so he only saw your messages a few hours ago.”

My stomach bottomed out, and I lowered my head to hide the tears in my eyes. I didn’t know where Caleb stood in all this, and I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing me break down. “If he saw the texts, why hasn’t he called?”

“He’s scared you’ll be mad because he didn’t reply sooner. And he’s ashamed of where he is, afraid you might judge him for it.”

The words hit me in the gut, and I blinked back tears as I looked up. “He’s an idiot. How could he think I’d judge him for that?”

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