Page 74 of Crossed Sticks

LUCA: If you’re getting here early, we could go down to the beach again. Interested?

LUCA: It’s another fucking humid day here but I’ve got the AC blasting on high so it’ll be cool for you. I also went to your place and adjusted the temp down there.

LUCA: Where are you? I was thinking I should order food so we can eat while we talk.

My mind was a jumbled mess. I’d left Buffalo to clear my head and figure out the shitstorm Luca and I had gotten ourselves into, but over the last week, I’d questioned everything from his sincerity to my own sanity. I was nervous about seeing him again. I didn’t know what to say, and I had no idea what to expect from him. All I knew was that I’d missed him every second of every day, even when I was furious at him.

But missing him didn’t mean I was ready to jump back in like nothing had happened. Talking might point us in the right direction, but there was no guarantee we’d ever get back to where we’d been. Even if I believed Luca was completely innocent of any wrongdoing with Caleb, my reaction had revealed giant faults in my readiness for a relationship. For all I knew, Luca was feeling the same way.

I was like a tree swaying back and forth in a strong wind. Part of me wanted to believe we could survive this storm, but the realist in me was screaming in protest. I couldn’t risk getting hurt again, not like this. Who knew what would happen long-term, but I needed more time to figure out what the hell to do. Even though I wanted us to have a real chance, there’d be no hope of making things work unless I got myself together.

I sent him a message before getting back on the road.

HARPER: I should be there in about 90 min. I’ll text you from my place.

He replied immediately.

LUCA: Sounds like a plan. I can’t wait to see you. This week’s been one of the hardest times I ever remember, but I’ve got some ideas, and I want to hear yours. I’ll be waiting.

Without knowing what he had in mind, I kept my reply simple.

HARPER: I’ve missed you, too. See you soon.

When I got home, I took off my shirt and stretched out on the couch, grateful for the cool air. The apartment was eerily quiet after a day of road noise, but even the AC’s gentle hum didn’t do much for my frazzled nerves. I knew what I wanted—Lucaandpeace of mind. What I didn’t know was how to get either.

Once I cooled off, I took my suitcase upstairs and dropped it by the bed. I was a sweaty mess, so I stripped out of my clothes and messaged Luca.

HARPER: I’m home. Thanks so much for making it cold in here. I need to shower, and then I’d like to rest a bit before we talk. How’s 7? Why don’t you come down here?

LUCA: Welcome home, Harp! I’ll be there at 7 with pizza from Scionti’s.

LUCA: Should I knock or let myself in?

That brought me up short because we’d specifically agreed knocking wasn’t necessary. The fight had rearranged things, but I wasn’t ready to change this yet.

HARPER: It’s considerate of you to ask, but just use your key.

LUCA: Will do babe. I can’t wait to see you.

Babe?Would he still be calling me that after I told him what I needed? Trying to hope for the best, I headed into the bathroom to shower.

I put out plates, silverware, and napkins before sitting on the couch to wait. Dressed in clean clothes and blessedly cool, I wondered how the conversation with Luca would go. Sweat running down the back of my neck signaled the onset of shaky hands and tremulous thoughts, and I sent out a prayer to the universe that things would go well.

It was two minutes before seven when the lock clicked and a short knock announced Luca’s arrival. I jumped up, adrenaline surging as I smoothed my shirt and turned to face him. His smile was radiant, and I matched it with one of my own. He set a pizza box on the table by the door and crossed the room. His face looked gaunt, and he seemed to have lost weight all over.

Our hug was brief, and it took every bit of determination I could muster to back away before he could kiss me. A stab of guilt pierced my heart as disappointment flickered across his face. His smile faltered but didn’t disappear, and my heart pounded as we looked into each other’s eyes. His dark orbs were as captivating as ever, but I was saddened not to see the usual gleam. Instead of hope and happiness, there was cautious uncertainty.

“I’m so happy to see you, Harp.”

My heart skipped a beat, and my hands started shaking again. “I’m glad to see you, too. Have you lost weight?”

His jaw twitched. “I… uh… had a virus this week, but I’m feeling better now.”

“Sorry to hear that. Glad you’re on the mend.” I gestured at the pizza. “Want to eat first?”

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luca

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