Page 30 of Crossed Sticks

I arrived back home before five, giving me time to squeeze in a nap before my shower. Big mistake. Instead of resting, I tossed and turned, obsessing over the date. Excitement warred with an ugly case of nerves because I needed Harper’s companionship. Everything had to be perfect for both of us. If I did something stupid, and I was practically guaranteed to, I’d panic.

This line of thought was also placing a burden on Harper. How could I enjoy his company if I dissected every word and overanalyzed every flicker of his lips? Fuck—I was sure to do it, which wouldn’t exactly scream “charming date material.”

I rolled onto my back and tried to clear my mind, but no dice. A glance at the clock told me I had twenty minutes before I needed to shower. I considered getting up now, but then what would I do until it was time to meet Harper? Freak out in the recliner?

Shit. I’ve never liked weed, but I wouldn’t mind having some now.

I needed to chill because I knew what was bothering me so much. Grabbing a pillow, I put it over my face. If I put my fear into words, I’d be hurling into the toilet in no time.

If I give it a voice, it won’t have power over me.

Goddammit! I threw the pillow on the floor and sat up, clutching my stomach. The mirror across the room mocked mewith an image of myself I wouldn’t want Harper to see—red-faced, sweaty, and eyes wide with panic.

I have to tell him about lacrosse.

“Fuck me!” I yelled, flopping back onto the bed. Harper and I liked each other, and this evening would give us a chance to get better acquainted. Hopefully, our outing would be followed by a night wild enough to go down in the record books. I’d give him the fucking he was so desperate for, and maybe we could enjoy some kink. I was open to more than sex, but it wasn’t only up to me. He had to want it, too.

I took a long shower before engaging in a fierce internal debate about what to wear. Eventually, I settled on white shorts and a navy blue T-shirt, but then second-guessed myself for another ten minutes before adding a light blue button-up shirt on top. It was a casual look, but the clothes were new, and they made me look about as good as I could hope for. After a moment spent stocking my pockets with condoms and packets of lube, I headed downstairs.

A knot of worry twisted tighter in my stomach as the moments crawled by. Standing near the silent elevators, I willed them to come to life. Where was he? While I fretted about that, a fresh wave of anxiety hit, this time about my car. Would he like it or think it was overkill? Too materialistic, maybe? After Finley gave me the endorsement deal, I treated myself to a metallic black BMW M4. It wasn’t the flashiest Beemer out there, but compared to what I could have afforded without Finley, it was the latest model spaceship. I loved the car, but I’d heard a lot of jabs about “jocks and their toys.”

God almighty. Why did I ask Harper out? This won’t be good. Do I still have time to?—

“Luca? You okay?”

I spun around, a grin spreading across my lips as Harper came into view. Dressed in dark blue shorts and a plaid button-up shirt, he was gorgeous. The shirt’s short sleeves showed off his muscular arms, and the shorts hugged his thighs with their massive quads. I considered suggesting we go back upstairs.

He snickered. “To repeat myself, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I croaked. “I…” Swallowing hard, I tried again. “You look fucking awesome.”

He tilted his head and smiled. “I checked you out, too, before I said hi. You look like a model.”

“Thanks.” Was this the time to tell him about Finley?No, no, no. He doesn’t even know I play lacrosse.At a loss for words, I went with the only thing that came to mind. “I didn’t hear the elevator.”

“Took the stairs.” He held out his arms. “Come here. I need a hug.”

I stepped into his warm embrace, and he purred when I leaned against him. Scents of vanilla and citrus tickled my nose, and by the time he released me, my heart had slowed its frantic pace.

“Not too late to change your mind about driving,” he said. “We could go in my SUV.”

“Nah, come on. Let’s get on the road.” I took his hand, and his touch calmed me as I led us to my car.

“Shit!” He glanced back and forth between me and the vehicle. “Is this yours? I looked at these before I got my SUV. It’s killer in black.” He grinned as he inspected the car, then fixed me in a seductive gaze. “A sexy guy with great taste. Well done.”

My mind raced as I unlocked the car and helped Harper into the passenger seat. Call me old-fashioned, but I enjoyed being a gentleman. His comments echoed in my head as I slid behind the wheel. Had he opted for the practicality of an SUV, or was the Beemer out of his budget? Backing out of the parking space, I glanced at him. “What kind of SUV do you have?”

“Audi Q7. Are you familiar with them?”

“They’re kick-ass. I considered getting an SUV, and the Q7 was definitely on my shortlist. How are you liking it?”

The Audi SUV was impressive, but like my car, not ridiculously expensive. Harper obviously earned enough to skip the base models, but his choice was solid and responsible. He hadn’t mortgaged his future for a ride. We chatted about cars while I maneuvered us onto I-190, but then an unaccustomed silence settled between us. It wasn’t exactly awkward, but since it was our first date, the quietness was charged with unease. Harper’s breaths seemed shallow, which made me wonder what was going on. Why the hell hadn’t I turned on some music?

“Have you lived in Buffalo long?” he asked.

“Five years. You just moved here, right?”Jesus, Luca. Way to sound like an idiot.“Sorry. What do you think of the city so far?”

His chuckle was the warm, friendly one I’d heard during our FaceTime calls. “I haven’t seen much of it yet, but I have some time before work officially starts, so I’ll probably do a lot of exploring.”

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