Page 21 of Crossed Sticks

LUCA: OK.

HARPER: What’s something that scares you?

You. I’m afraid that no matter how safe I try to keep myself, you’ll find a way to hurt me.Since I couldn’t say that, I thought of something else.

LUCA: Spiders. I irrationally think all of them are poisonous, but whether they are or not, they gross me out. What scares you?

HARPER: Swimming in a lake. You never know what’s in the water with you.

LUCA: Good one. I’m not crazy about it either.

We signed off with promises to touch base the next day. I leaned back and stared at the ceiling as a goofy grin stretched across my face. Harper really did scare me, but I liked him enough to face my fears. If I wanted a friend, I needed to trust someone, and he seemed like a good bet.

7/

harper

Although D.C. had beenmy home for years, I felt out of place. The city hadn’t changed, but my world had shifted remarkably in a short time. My hosts were Barracudas captain Nick Johnson and his husband, Jacob. They were as nice as ever, but Nick wasn’t my teammate anymore, which altered the nuances of our relationship. While I was here, I’d be seeing other teammates—orformerteammates—and I hoped things would be normal between us.

When Nick and I had gone to my old condo to take some boxes to a charity store, my empty place no longer felt like home. Instead, it was more like someone I’d known years earlier in a different phase of my life—familiar but no longer comfortable. Even the D.C. streets seemed different. After driving on them for years, I’d learned to expect the traffic and not let it bother me, but now it was a giant pain in the ass.

After my ill-fated romance, I’d fallen into a routine. I played hockey, spent time with my teammates, and then went home to play video games and read fantasy novels. During the day I thought I was making the best of my situation, but when I lay alone in bed at three in the morning, I knew the truth: I was accepting my fate.

With the move to Buffalo, something inside me had adjusted. Hoping for a life partner would probably still be an exercise in futility, but with the change of location, I was determined not to settle for the lonely life I’d had in Washington. I would put myself out there more. There had to be other men like me, not keepers in the long run, but hungry for good times and company for a while. Luca was probably an example of one, and if we made good on our deal to hang out, it would be a positive for both of us. Besides relief from my loneliness, it sounded like I might finally get fucked—a lot—putting an end to the desperate craving that was slowly driving me insane.

Recently, I’d gone back and forth about what would be best for me, hookups or short-term flings. Sealing myself off was safer, but taking a chance could open a new, more fulfilling life, one in which I wouldn’t keep my spirit locked up to guard against heartbreak. At a crossroads, I couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. Luca sparked hope within me, a feeling I’d almost forgotten existed.

I’d see what happened when I went home, but today, I had a meeting to sign the paperwork allowing a realtor to sell my condo. I stopped at the old place to do a final walk-through. Nothing was left but memories, so with forty minutes to spare, I sat on the living room floor and checked my phone. There were no messages, so I took a sip of my iced coffee and tapped the icon to FaceTime Luca.

He answered on the second ring. “Hey, handsome. What’s up?”

“Uh…” Luca’s appearance had me breathless. His usually immaculate hair was damp and hanging across his forehead. Beads of sweat glistened on his face, and his cheeks were deeply flushed. His bare chest with its bulging pecs was a shameless display of powerful masculinity. Heat flared in the pit of my stomach, making my dick roar to life. For a few seconds, panicgripped me as a familiar ache wound around my heart. Had I caught him in bed with someone? What an absurd thought; he wouldn’t answer a call in the middle of that.

“Harper? Is something wrong?”

“Hi.” My voice was little more than a whisper. “Got a minute?”

“Sure, but what’s going on? You look like you saw a ghost.”

Coming out of my trance, I spoke without a filter. “You look so hot I couldn’t talk. For a minute, I thought maybe you were fucking someone.”

He threw his head back and laughed, the crinkles around his mouth and eyes emphasizing his good looks. Luca may have had a boyishly handsome face, but the laugh lines left no doubt he was all grown up. Well, the lines plus the generous allotment of hair on his chest. And his… God, his everything. I focused on the dip at the bottom of his throat and fantasized about licking it. After he stopped laughing, he gazed into his phone and met my eyes across the miles. “I couldn’t be fucking someone, because I can’t get you out of my head. I’m saving it all for you.”

My cheeks stung, and for the second time in this conversation, he’d stolen my breath. I’d have given anything to be with him. I needed him to fuck me more than I could get my mind around, and I crossed my fingers he wouldn’t change his mind after he learned I played hockey. If he did, it would devastate me.

His lips slanted into a half-cocked smile. “You like that idea, don’t you? And…” He bounced his eyebrows. “I’m getting the definite impression you like me sweaty.”

“Uh huh.” I was glad he couldn’t see how my dick was tenting my pants. I placed a hand over it and squeezed, gasping with pleasure. It wouldn’t take much of that to do the trick, so I let go.

“Damn, Harper. You look…” He rolled one shoulder in a shrug. “Deliciously fuckable.”

“Oh, God.” I put my hand back over my dick for another squeeze. “Makes two of us, then. Why are you so sweaty? You look like a poster boy for sex.”

His eyes sparkled, and he tilted his head. “Hope you still think so when you get back.”

“No worries about that. But…”

Nodding slowly, he trailed a finger down the middle of his chest, between his pecs. I thought he was being provocative, but when he spoke, I wasn’t sure. “The humidity broke, so I went for a run. Did eight miles and just got home. Do you run, by any chance?”

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