Page 17 of Crossed Sticks

“How’s it going, Luca?”

His voice sent a familiar pang through my heart. He sounded cheerful, but since he had a fantastic life and a husband who adored him, no wonder he was in a good mood. A sudden wave of dizziness had me bracing myself against the counter. Caleb had more than a husband. He had me, too, dangling from a hook I’d bitten down on years before. It was like I was in reserve, justin case anything happened to Daniel.Fuck me for being such a gullible jerk.

Eyes closed. Breathe in through my nose to a count of three. Out through my mouth to a count of four. Repeat.

“Luca, are you there?”

“Just a sec,” I croaked.

After repeating the exercise, I opened my eyes. “I’m cooking dinner. Putting water on for spaghetti.”

“Your nonna’s sauce? Hold dinner until I get there?”

Asshole. If you’d done things differently, I’d have made it for you whenever you wanted.I braced my palms on the counter and took a breath. When had I become so hostile? A therapist had helped me admit I resented Caleb’s relationship with Daniel, and I’d tried to let it go because Caleb’s friendship was important to me. Fuck that. Since he couldn’t see me, I smiled while I gave the phone the finger. “Sorry, but I’m starving. Another time?”

“If you insist.” He’d put on a peevish tone, but now he chuckled. “It really is the best sauce in the world. Are you having someone over?”

Keep the oblivious stabs coming, Caleb. You never paid attention to my feelings, so why start now?“No, it’s just me. I had a photo shoot all day, so I’m beat.”

“Don’t know how you do it. What else have you been up to?”

I opened the package of pasta I’d bought at the farmers’ market. “Video games, working out. I played paintball with the boys one day.” I didn’t mention Harper because what was developing between us was too special to share. No one knew what would happen, and I wanted to keep him to myself for now.

Or maybe Ishouldtell him about Harper and say he’s my boyfriend. That would shake up Caleb’s perfect world. It would be stupid, though, and I wasn’t a liar.I dismissed it as a weird idea inspired by my anger—anger I didn’t understand. Istarted washing some of the tomatoes I’d gotten at the market, determined to get my emotions under control. Mustering all the friendliness I could find, I asked, “What have you been up to?”

“Law and Daniel, as usual. There’s a big hearing coming up, and I’ve been doing the grunt work to prepare for that. Daniel’s finished teaching for the summer, and since he turned in his grades, he’s been coming up with a lot of things to do. Being in the office all day and busy every night is tiring me out.”

“Poor you. The life everyone dreams of is making you tired.”

“Huh? What does that mean?”

Had I said that out loud? “Um… nothing, Caleb. I’m just being your snarky friend. Sounds like you’re having a good summer.”

He treated me to the tinkly chuckle I’d always loved, but today it grated on me while I sliced tomatoes.

“We’re having a lot of fun, for sure. And the reason I’m calling, besides saying hi to my gorgeous best friend, is to ask if it’s okay for Daniel and me to come visit. We’re putting our calendar together, so how would the last week of August work for you?”

“Hold on, the pot’s boiling.” I took my time putting the pasta into the water. If I’d answered too soon, I might have given away my lack of enthusiasm about seeing Caleb. I was in no mood to hear him and Daniel fucking in my bed while I slept on the couch. They always made enough noise to be sure I knew what they were doing.

As if that weren’t enough, the way they sweet-talked to each other was enough to give me diabetes, and with their constant hand-holding and disgusting kisses everywhere we went, I sometimes wanted to throw up. Yet I’d always thought it was worth enduring because I got to spend time with Caleb.

I set the timer for ten minutes before turning back toward the phone. “The last week of August will be fine. It’ll be nice seeing you.”

He spoke to someone in the background, probably his precious Daniel, so after I checked the sauce to be sure it was defrosted, I began slicing fresh mozzarella. By the time Caleb returned to the phone, I’d finished with the cheese and was washing basil.

“It’s a plan, then,” he said. “We’re so excited about seeing you. Daniel sends his best and says he’s looking forward to getting some new workout pointers.”

I rolled my eyes. Daniel spent a lot of time in the gym, and whenever we were together, he always wanted to work out with me. He’d claim he wanted help refining his routine, and I always played along even though his agenda was not what he said. I was pretty sure he wanted to show me up.Too bad, Dan.He stayed in good shape for a history prof, but he was no professional athlete. Part of my job was to remain in peak physical condition, so I gave that very high priority. Barely containing a scoff, I shook my head at the phone. “I’ll be glad to help, if I can.”

“He appreciates it, you know. I’m glad you two became friends because it makes things better for all of us.”

Anything to make your life easier, Caleb.I couldn’t help sneering while I arranged the tomatoes, cheese, and basil on a plate, then added sea salt and olive oil.

“Luca? Are you still there?”

“I’m here. I was finishing a Caprese salad, and you know us dumb jocks. Can’t talk and do something else at the same time.”

“Don’t say that. I know you’re joking, but you’re one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever known.”

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