Page 11 of Crossed Sticks

GABE: I thought your idea of hanging out was going to his place so you could sneak out as soon as he fell asleep, then ignore him for months.

Ouch. I’d have been insulted if he wasn’t right. He’d given a pretty good description of what happened between us.

GABE: J/k. I know you don’t date, which makes me wonder why you want to hang out with this guy. He must be special. Do I know him?

LUCA: Doubtful. He just moved to town. Don’t laugh, but I think he’s cool, and I’m lonely. I need someone to spend time with.

Fuck it. If I wanted good advice, I had to come clean.

LUCA: We just met, but I like him. At least I think I do. I want him. In fact, we already did that. But he’s not like other guys I’ve met. I’ve never felt this much interest in anyone so soon.

GABE: I sense Earth slowing on its axis.

LUCA: Yeah yeah. Maybe I’m human after all, but he’ll probably come to his senses and block me.

There was a pause before a GIF of a smiling man shaking his head came through, followed by another message.

GABE: Don’t sell yourself short. You have more to offer than you’ll ever admit. If you like him and want to spend time together, go on a date or two. No obligation if it fizzles, but a lot to gain if it goes somewhere.

LUCA: You know my history, and I’m not interested in having it go anywhere. But contrary to my reputation, I need a partner in crime. This is the first guy I’ve met in a long time who’s interested in me as a person.

I read the message over twice before pressing Send. It was a lot to say, especially since I’d hardly admitted it to myself. But I wasn’t a kid anymore, and I had to take care of my mental health.

GABE: I know what you’ve been through, and saying what you just did is a big step. FWIW, we’re all nervous about asking people out. Rejection hurts, and even short-term things can bite you in the ass. But sometimes they don’t, and that makes it all worthwhile. If you’re honest with yourself and don’t mislead him, this could be good for you.

Was he right? Could I weather a few dates even if things didn’t turn out well?

LUCA: I’ve never thought about it like that. If I’m honest, I won’t be in the same position I was with Caleb. Youthink I should ask this guy out, then? See what happens and hope for the best?

GABE: Yes. My advice is don’t push too much. Let things move at their own pace.

LUCA: I’m a mess just thinking about it, but I’m excited too. I can’t go on the way I’ve been, so I’ll take your advice.

GABE: Glad I could help. Have faith, Luca. One day, things will work out for you.

My eyes teared up as I considered the wreck of my life.

LUCA: Thanks. I’m sorry about what happened back when we went out. You’ve always been good to me, even after I treated you like shit.

GABE: Water under the bridge and we’re fine now. I liked you a lot when we went out, but it wasn’t the right time for either of us. Good luck, and keep me posted?

LUCA: Will do.

LUCA: BTW, whatever people think, you’ve definitely got a sweet side.

GABE: I’ve heard rumors to that effect, but they’re all bullshit. I need to go because I’m meeting the boys at the rink tomorrow. The Warriors just traded for a new forward, and we want to see if he’s as good as we’ve heard.

LUCA: Have fun, and thanks again.

I thought about what Gabe said while I took a leak. Was the reward worth the risk? After washing my hands, I asked the man in the mirror. He didn’t answer, but I did—risk be damned, I was sick of being lonely. I wouldn’t be reckless with my feelings, but since when was texting a guy reckless? “Be bold,” my college coach used to say, “and we might win it all.”

I went back to the living room and found my phone.

LUCA: Hey Harper. Remember me, that guy from the Jitterbug today?

He didn’t make me wait long for a response.

HARPER: The barista?

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