Page 93 of Crossed Sticks

“He came to Ohio to bring me home. We didn’t get here until three in the morning.”

“Well worth it,” Caleb said.

I smiled at him. “Thanks, Cale. This is the best thing you’ve ever done for me.”

Harp looked at Caleb and added, “I’ll never forget it. Thank you.”

Caleb joined us for a group hug. When we all let go, he said, “It’s amazing seeing you both so happy.”

“Caleb and I talked about everything on the drive home last night,” Harp said. “I understand what happened, and we’re okay with each other.”

“You’re all the common ground we need, Luki,” Caleb said, smoothing a hand over my back. “Harper and I are going to be great friends.”

I looked back and forth between them. “This makes me even happier than I already was. Thank you both.”

Caleb nodded. “You two need to talk, so I’ll go. Is it all right if I come back tonight for a while? I’ll fly out to Chicago in the morning.”

“If you’re planning to stay overnight, why don’t you all go out to dinner?” someone asked.

We turned our heads, and I was surprised to find Dr. Putnam had come in. “This is a hospital, not a prison,” she said. “I think a night out would be good for you, Luca. As long as you come back after you eat, of course.”

“That would be fantastic. Can Harp please stay with me today? We haven’t seen each other for a while.”

“It’s fine if you promise to talk about things. I want to see you flourish, Luca, not simply have another break from depression.”

37/

harper

After Caleb left,Luca led me down a hallway. My chest tightened as we stepped into a small, sterile room. A hospital bed dominated the space, and beside it sat a rolling nightstand holding a plastic water pitcher and cup. A TV hung on the wall opposite the bed, and apart from some built-in drawers, a straight-backed chair was the only other piece of furniture. The common room, with its comfortable upholstery, entertainment equipment, and game tables, had almost made me forget we were in a hospital, but there was no mistaking it now.

“Why don’t you shut the door?” I asked, my voice strained. “We have some things to talk about.”

He winced. “Closed doors aren’t allowed, but I think we’ll be okay. They usually only come in to take vitals or give me my meds, and they always knock first.”

I nodded, wishing I could change the reality of all that had happened.

He crossed the room and placed his hands on my chest. “I can’t believe you’re really here. It feels like a dream.”

The excitement of seeing each other had made us both emotional. We’d apologized and shown we still cared about each other, and—for a moment—I’d imagined we could leave thisplace and take up where we’d left off. But in this tiny room, I couldn’t escape what I’d done to him. His familiar smell and the warmth of his touch were comforting links to the relationship we’d built, but he wasn’t the same. His haunted eyes and pale skin left no doubt about the terrible time he’d been through. I’d caused it, and the weight of that realization pressed down on me. Somehow, I needed to make it up to him, to do whatever was necessary to set things right. But how could I ever undo the damage? After what I’d done, could he ever truly forgive me?

I looked into his eyes, glimmering with hope, and the hint of a smile on his lips gave me the courage to try. “If it’s a dream, we’re both having it. I’m sorry, Luca. I can’t believe how badly I treated you.”

He shook his head. “Don’t try to take all the responsibility. If I’d thought everything through that night, none of this would’ve happened.”

“I didn’t even let you explain.”

“Not right away, but you were hurt. You eventually listened to me.”

“Eventuallywasn’t good enough.” Shame filled my heart, mixed with disbelief that I’d been so stubborn. “I judged you and ran away.”

“Because you were hurt,” he repeated softly.

“By something that wasn’t real.”

He played with a button on my shirt. “That’s on me. I should have come back to you that night. Anyone would’ve been shocked to see what you did first thing in the morning. I’d have probably reacted the same way if the situation had been reversed.” He dropped his hands and nodded at the bed. “Let’s sit down.”

I nearly yelled that I didn’t want to sit. Right then, I wanted to run away so I could never hurt him like this again.

---