Page 59 of Crossed Sticks

We were boyfriends, but maybe it was still too soon to justify dreaming about more. I wanted to believe things between us could go somewhere, but was I projecting desperate hopes onto something that wasn’t ready to bear them? He lived in my heart, and I believed I lived in his, but how long would it last?

My uncertainty deepened as the sun dipped below the horizon. Nothing was sure in life, so I needed to keep my feelings in check. If things went well, the reward could be better than anything I’d ever imagined, but if they didn’t—and given myhistory, that was the more likely scenario—I had to be ready to call this a beautiful moment that gave me temporary relief from my loneliness.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Luca’s voice was much more upbeat than the one in my head.

“Thinking about you,” I said. “What else?”

“Makes two of us, babe.” He stood and held out a hand. “Let’s go for that walk on the beach now.”

The moon was up, and its pearlescent glow made for a peaceful night. While Luca and I walked with our arms around each other’s backs, I enjoyed the still-warm water washing around my feet.

“This was the best idea, coming down here.” Luca tightened his hold on me. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. How are you feeling about us being boyfriends?”

“Terrific.” It was no lie. Despite the insecurities I’d indulged in minutes earlier, I couldn’t remember a time when I’d been happier. “You’re incredible, Luca, and I’ve never known anyone else who understands me the way you do.”

“Ditto.”

“As much as I enjoy the way you care for me, I like how you let me take care of you. You don’t expect it, and you don’t demand it. You just let me do it, and you…”

“Appreciate it? Enjoy it? Think it’s the best fucking thing ever?”

I smiled and rubbed his back. “I was going to say reflect it back to me, but I’m happy to hear those other things.”

“Nobody’s ever treated me as well as you do.” He sighed and brought us to a stop, dropping his arm from my back and turning to face me. “I’m a caretaker. I love protecting people I care about and making them happy, but I’ve never had anyone feel the same way about me. You don’t just take; you give. I’ve had great friends, but no one’s ever done this for me.”

My eyes grew misty. “I care about you, Luca, and I’m thrilled about what we have.”

He swallowed hard, his eyes looking extra shiny in the moonlight. “I care for you so much,” he said. “It’s amazing because it hasn’t been all that long, but I feel like you’re what I’ve been waiting for.”

He seemed vulnerable, so I wrapped him in a hug. My mouth was next to his ear, so I whispered, “I feel the same way about you. And I’ll be here for you as long as you’ll let me.”

I kissed him, enjoying the texture of his lips. Our tongues met, their lazy dance making me giddy. After the kiss broke, we held each other and danced to the music of nature. The susurration of water washing up on the sand was magical, and the man in my arms was everything I wanted.

19/

luca

Our tripto the beach clarified things for me. I’d already liked Harper more than I could understand, but something about that night was pivotal. Since then, we’d no longer spent most of our time together, but almost all of it. My photo shoot schedule was tapering off, so if I wasn’t doing that or Harp wasn’t hanging out with his new teammates, it was a safe bet you’d find us up to no good.

Our days consisted of waking up together and enjoying a long session of morning sex. Satisfied for the time being, we’d then have breakfast and head out for the day’s adventures. If we had things to do on our own, there was never any question about whether we’d meet again later.

This morning, Harp had left early for a physical exam with the Warriors’ team doctor. We’d spent the night at my place, and as I drank coffee alone, the apartment’s silence got me thinking. I’d spent so much time over the years feeling unhappy and alone, but now the silence held new meaning—peaceful solitude instead of dismal emptiness. Quiet moments were now opportunities to recharge and consider what we were doing. Part of me always craved Harp’s presence, but even when he was gone, the anticipation of seeing him soon made me smile.

Our future was unknown, but I sensed things were headed in a positive direction. Unlike when I’d fallen for Caleb, I didn’t have to hide my feelings from Harper. The honesty we’d promised each other from the beginning kept things open between us. There was none of the walking on eggshells I’d experienced in the past, living in fear he’d run away if he knew how I felt. Sure, there was vulnerability in being honest, but I’d learned vulnerability wasn’t weakness. It was the foundation of a strong relationship.

There were still moments when I feared things might go wrong, but I trusted him more every day. Our routines would change when his season started, and again when mine began soon after that, but I had faith we’d figure things out. Because of our connection, I was convinced Harp and I could make it. We were doing all the right things, and as professional athletes, we knew a lot about follow-through.

When Harper got home, we went to his apartment for lunch, and then he said he needed a nap. The way he locked onto my mouth, slid his tongue inside, and cupped my dick through my gym shorts gave me the idea he didn’t want to sleep alone. He led me to his bedroom, where it soon became evident he wasn’t interested in sleep at all. I changed that by tying him to the headboard and fucking him so hard he came twice. I untied him, and after he drifted into unconsciousness, we were such a jumble of limbs and sweaty bodies, I gave up on trying to pull a sheet over us before falling asleep myself.

I woke to bright sunlight streaming through the windows, suggesting it was late afternoon. Harper was next to me, sittingagainst the headboard with his computer open across his thighs. His eyes were so wide I didn’t need to hear the excitement in his “Guess what?” to figure out something special was happening.

“You found some new porn to watch onUse Me?”

He laughed. “No, but that could be arranged.” He turned the laptop so I could see the large, light green Victorian house on the screen. “This is that B&B I told you about near Bar Harbor. The one with the ocean in front and the spa out back? It’s a fantastic place.”

“I remember.” I sat up and scooted close to him. “It looks terrific.”

His beaming smile made me want to tie him down again. Except this time, I’d suck him off and then fuck his pretty mouth.

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