Page 18 of Crossed Sticks

It took too much effort to crush the smart-ass response that sprang to my lips. Instead, I said, “Thanks, Caleb. That means a lot coming from the smartest guy I ever knew.” Fortunately,the timer went off, and I asked him to wait while I drained the spaghetti. After mixing in the marinara, I smiled at the phone, hoping to make up for flipping it off earlier. “Dinner’s ready. I wish you were here to share it.”

“I’ve always loved cooking with you.”

My eyes grew misty, and I had to clear my throat. “Me too. We’ll do it in August. But for now, I need to go eat because I’m meeting Sam later for a beer. Thanks for calling.”

“I’m glad you had time to talk. I miss you, Luca.”

That sounded more sincere than anything else he’d said during the call. I knew he cared for me, which brought on a wave of guilt for having such jaded thoughts during our conversation. “Miss you too. We’ll have a great time when you visit.”

We said our goodbyes, and after carrying my dinner to the table, I took a steadying breath before digging in. Meeting Sam had been bullshit, but I didn’t want to tell Caleb I’d be waiting for Harper’s text. “Fuck.” I banged a fist on the table. Now my weird feelings about Caleb had made me a liar, after all. It was time to get things sorted out, but I didn’t know where to start.

I couldn’t shake the memories. Caleb and I used to be inseparable, but my grief was no longer about being in love with him. I’d moved on from that, but the way he broke my heart still stung. He hadn’t bothered to tell me he’d found someone else; I had to hear it secondhand, like someone he barely knew. When I reacted badly, he only grudgingly acknowledged my feelings. His response was more along the lines of “I’m sorry you’re hurt” than “I don’t want this to tie you in knots forever.”

We’d been best friends, or at least I’d thought so. Yet he seemed oblivious to my turmoil, and I became a ghost in my own story. I hated how unresolved everything felt, like a wound that wouldn’t heal. Not one time in all the years since had Caleb acknowledged the depth of my feelings, so I never got the closure I deserved.

Years of one-night stands with men from dating apps hadn’t even satisfied my physical needs, let alone my emotional chaos. Whether it was Harper or someone else, I needed someone to share my life with, at least for a while. I had to put the past behind me and lay the ghosts to rest.

After cleaning the kitchen, I sat down and opened a book. It was a new release about the Cuban Missile Crisis, and I was in the middle of a chapter about the two conflicting messages Khrushchev sent President Kennedy when my phone buzzed.

HARPER: Do you have a few minutes? I wasn’t sure if you went out or something, but I wanted to say hi.

LUCA: Just reading at home. I’ve been hoping to hear from you.

HARPER: Reading the comics? Can’t imagine you reading books. ;)

LUCA: Said by a guy who probably only reads sex manuals. ;)

HARPER: FU. I read them all the time. Maybe I’ll get lucky and meet some guy to practice with.

I laughed and thought about how to reply.

LUCA: That assumes a lot.

HARPER: And here I thought fucking my legs like a jackhammer meant something.

LUCA: It meant I’m up for you anytime you want.

HARPER: Up for me?

LUCA: Practicing sex is important. :)

HARPER: So I’ve heard. Hoping we can practice together next week. :)

I couldn’t imagine Harper not getting all the sex he wanted and then some, but he was talking the same way he’d acted during our hookup—like a man starved for physical relief.

LUCA: We could’ve practiced last night, you know. ;)

HARPER: True. Maybe I made a bad call, but I’ll be thinking about you a lot while I’m down here.

My cock was getting hard, something that seemed to happen whenever Harper was around. Or texting, or in my thoughts…

LUCA: Me too.

I almost suggested we rehearse together on FaceTime, but then I remembered Gabe’s advice not to push too hard.

LUCA: You’re with your friends?

HARPER: Yes. We went to dinner from the airport and talked for a while. I told them I was tired because I wanted to text you.

---