Page 61 of Christmas for Keeps

“Did you arrange that somehow?” I asked. “How did you manage it?”

A blush tinted Zach’s cheeks as he shook his head. “No, I swear. How could I?”

“I suppose you’re right.” I glanced at my letters and played off his ‘T’ to form the word “train.”

He flashed a grin. “Does that mean we’re destined to ride the train of life together?”

I shrugged, for some reason trying to downplay the peculiar coincidence. “Or maybe it’s just two words on a Scrabble board?”What the fuck? I want to ride that train with him more than anything in the world.

“I want to be with you, Con.” He reached for my hand. “I want to go through life beside you.”

My heart rattled in my chest. “I want it too. In case I haven’t made myself clear, I’m in this all the way.”

“We’d better get first-class seats on the train, then, because it’s going to be an amazing ride.”

The game moved slowly. We took time between words to chat, steal kisses, or lose ourselves in the fire’s warm glow. Conversation flowed effortlessly, as it always had. One moment, we were discussing plans to do some repairs on Nick, and the next, I shared my therapist’s suggestion to reconnect with Zach about a year after we lost touch.

Leaning back, he squinted at me. “Why didn’t you?”

My chest tightened, but I forced myself to meet his eyes. “Fear, mainly. I wondered if you’d even answer my call, and I was pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to forgive me if you did.”

He flinched. “Seriously? How could you think that?”

“I assumed you might have found someone else, but it was easier not to know. I didn’t want you to be lonely.” I swallowed hard. “But I also held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, we could find our way back to each other someday.”

“Oh, Con.” His eyes grew misty, and he pressed his lips together for a moment. “I’m not sure that makes sense. You didn’t want me to be lonely, but you wouldn’t talk to me? You hoped we’d get back together, but…”

“Itdoesn’tmake sense.” My mind somersaulted as I realized how stupid I’d been. “I was still depressed and wasn’t thinking rationally.” He said nothing, so I went on. “Besides, you had a phone too. You could’ve called me.”

He nodded sadly. “You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t, but I was also afraid.”

I rubbed his hand. “No more fear. We’ve talked a lot this week, even had some drama, but we made it through.”

“What’s that saying? Tempered by fire?”

“Tempering makes things stronger. I never want to lose you again, and we’ll get our communication on track.”

“Damn right we will.” Leaning close, he put his forehead against mine. The silence was rich with promise, and love enveloped us like a warm, comforting blanket.

“Were you serious?” I eventually asked. “You said a school here might need a teacher, but would you want that? For us to live together?”

He raised his head. “Would I like living with you? Jesus, Con… hold on.” He leaped up and dashed toward the bedroom. The closet door creaked open, and just as I wondered what he was up to, he came running back.

I grinned. “I’m glad you decided not to run away.”

“Oh, baby. You know I love you, right?”

“Yes.” My heart raced, making it difficult to breathe. “I love you too, with all my heart.”

“Good.” He swallowed hard, his chest heaving. “Because…”

He dropped to one knee, and my heart gunned into overdrive, its wild timpani beat making me lightheaded. I took a shallow breath as my vision narrowed, focusing solely on Zach, his face shining in the firelight and his lips trembling.

“Oh God,” I whispered. My eyes welled with tears, turning him into a shimmering reflection, like a pond on a peaceful summer day.

Huffing out two quick breaths, he looked into my eyes. “I’m late with this. Years late, actually. You’re everything to me, Con, and you have been since college. That didn’t stop when we were apart. I missed you every single second of every day. I was the world’s biggest dumbass for not going to Boston and knocking your door down to make you talk to me, but like I said, I was afraid.”

“Okay.” I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I could barely speak. “I love you.”

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