Page 32 of Christmas for Keeps

He put a hand on top of mine. “There’s no one else. There hasn’t been anyone since we stopped seeing each other.”

“No boyfriends? Only hookups?”

“No one else, period. I haven’t hooked up, and I certainly haven’t had a boyfriend.” He moved his hand to his chest. “You own my heart. You’ve always been the man for me, and I haven’t even been able to think about anyone else.”

I must have been dreaming. Handsome, smart, charming Zachary Harris hadn’t seen anyone at all?No, that’s impossible.“Come on. You were always horny all the time. You haven’t had sex withanyone?”

His lips twitched. “Like youweren’thorny all the time? There’s no other guy. It’s just you, Con. It’s always been you.”

I stared at him, working hard to hold back tears because I’d hurt him even more than I thought. “I am so sorry I did that to you.”

He shook his head. “We’re moving on, remember? But can I ask about you? Do you have anyone?”

I shook my head. “No one else for me, either. No boyfriends, no sex. I told you I never stopped loving you.”

“Dear God!” He looked at the ceiling and huffed, then lowered his head. “We’re some pair. Loving each other all these years but not having the guts to even send a text. What happened to us?”

I’d spent too much time wondering about that very thing. “You pretty much said it before. We were still kids back then. We hadn’t learned how to deal with the hard stuff life can throw at you, and we were scared. When I got slammed with taking care of Dad, and then him dying, I didn’t know how to react. I pulled inward and got depressed, and you didn’t know what to do with that.”

“And instead of being sensitive, I thought you didn’t want me anymore. What a self-centered, dumb-fucking-ass I was.”

“You were not, and neither was I. We hadn’t learned much about adulting.”

“We have now, though. Like what it really is to love someone, to screw up so badly you think you’ll never get over it.”

I took his hand and raised it to my mouth for a kiss. “Look at us, Zach. I think fate’s smiling on us now.”

“I do too. I don’t want you to get tired of hearing it, but I love you.”

“Love you too. More than I can get my mind around, just like it’s always been.”

“Then…” He stood and tugged on my hand. “Come with me. We need to go back to bed.”

After a third dizzying orgasm in less than twenty-four hours, I passed out. Sometime later, I woke in Zach’s arms, surprised to find him watching me.

His eyes sparkled. “Hi.”

“Hey.” My throat was croaky, so I swallowed. “That was so awesome. I think I fell asleep before I told you.”

Chuckling softly, he brushed my hair back off my forehead. “You fell asleep halfway through saying it.”

“Oh my God.” I pulled away from him long enough to stretch.

“Can I ask something?”

“Of course.”

He leaned up on an elbow. “You haven’t been with anyone else, right? At all?”

“Not since before we were together. After we met, it was only you.”

“Well, I was thinking. Since I haven’t either, do we need to use condoms? We hadn’t used them for three years before we stopped seeing one another. About six months ago, I had a physical, and they tested me. I was fine.”

“Same, but it was about a year ago for me.” I smiled and said, “If you’re okay with it, I’d rather not use them. I want to be as close to you as possible.”

“Me too.”

He kissed me, and since it was far from sweet, I drew away. “I want you to fuck me again, but could we shower first? I feel gross. Plus, I need a little time to finish recovering.”

---