Since I’ve known her, there has been nothing she’s screwed up. Our first encounter left me wondering what was going on in her life. She had this sad look in her eyes and was in a state of worry the entire flight. I’ve slowly watched her free herself from whatever had her locked up in chains and kept her from her fullest potential.
“I don’t know what to say because I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say you screw everything up.”
Macey wipes the corner of her mouth with a napkin and finishes her current bite. “I know you don’t know me well enough…”
“After our Monday morning run-in, I think I know you a little better now,” I interrupt her with a wink.
“Very funny.” She gives me a cheeky grin, playfully slapping my forearm. “My past isn’t something I’ve come to terms with yet. But it’s what’s shaped me into the person I am today.”
I swallow, sitting back in my chair. “I really want to ask more, Macey. But I don’t want you to talk about things you’re not comfortable with or anything that is going to bring you down. That’s not what this morning is supposed to be.”
“Is that the reason you haven’t asked me about why I left Montana? Or about Mackenzie's dad? Or about my parents?”
Macey rattles off the questions as if she’s offended that I haven’t asked about any of those things yet. I didn’t think we were on that level with each other and the last thing I wanted was to make her upset.
“Listen. Ever since I walked on that plane a couple months ago and started talking to you, I’ve made it my mission to make you smile because it’s so fucking beautiful when you do, Macey.” I can’t help but smile just thinking about it. “So yeah, that’s why I don’t ask and don’t bring it up. Not because I don’t want you to talk about it, but because I see the sadness in your eyes most days. I don’t want to be the person to put any more hurt in those eyes.”
“You don’t?”
I shake my head. “I don’t. I never want to be that person.”
A few heartbeats pass before she finally speaks again. “I left Montana to run away from my parents and the life I had with them.”
My breath catches in my throat as my nerves stand at full attention.
Was she in trouble? Was someone hurting her?
“I pray you never have to meet them,” she continues. “They’re the epitome of controlling and manipulating. The day I found out I was pregnant, I was basically disowned as their daughter. Yet, at the same time, I was in total lockdown with no freedom to grow into who I wanted to be. They had to make sure I was living howtheywanted me to live.”
I raise a brow in confusion.
“I know that really doesn’t make much sense.” She lets out a nervous laugh. “But the day before I found out about the pregnancy, was the last time I ever heard the words ‘I love you’ spoken out of their mouths to me. That was the last hug I ever got from them. They stopped being my parents and just became my keepers. They made sure I did everything they told me to do, and that included raising Mackenzie to their expectations.”
I don’t answer.
I can’t answer.
How could anyone ever do that to their child? It makes me sick.
“It shaped me into this person that I never wanted to be. I now live in fear. I live with anxiety. I walk on eggshells waiting for rock bottom to strike again.” She pauses, exhaling a long draw out breath. “I told myself thatwhenI make it to New York City, I’ll never let myself get back to that again. Needless to say, the fear of me not getting this job is real. This job has the opportunity to catapult me into the direction I so desperately crave to reach, to finally give us the life I’ve always dreamed about. One that Mackenzie deserves. So the thought of never getting there makes me sick.”
“This all makes so much sense.”
“What does?”
“Your parents and how they’ve treated you.” I reach across the table, taking both of her hands in mine in hopes that she feels comfort in the words coming out of my mouth. “You’ve never had anyone believe in you. You’ve always had to believe in yourself and sometimes that’s just not enough.”
“Wow… uh. Yeah. That’s. Yeah.” She’s completely stunned speechless.
“And I’ve eaten food you’ve cooked, remember? You’re fucking good. Like really good, Macey. But there’s a lot more to that industry than just making good food.”
“What’s that?”
“Passion,” I fire back quickly. “You love being in the kitchen. I’ve seen first-hand how your face lights up when you enter mine. I see the shift in your entire day when you’re making something. Anything. And that right there is why you’re going to become a top chef in this city.”
Macey blinks back tears I can tell she’s fighting to hold in, just as she averts her gaze out the window to the busy sidewalk. “I want that,” she says barely above a whisper before she turns to look back at me. “I love cooking and everything about it.”
“Then screw anything that’s ever happened before today and keep doing what makes you happy.”