Page 113 of That First Flight

“His first text said next weekend. Why? Am I missing something?” My eyes bounce around the girls, clueless on what’s happening.

Peyton throws herself back on the couch with a groan. “God, I’m so jealous. I wanted to go down there that weekend so badly. Avery did too, but our schedules didn’t work out.”

I look at her in confusion. “Is something going on that weekend?”

“Yes! Only the most epic romance readers retreat ever!” Peyton says.

I laugh. “I have no idea what that is.”

“It’s just to get together for a weekend and talk about all things books. Obviously romance,” she says with certainty. “We wanted to go so bad.”

“How fun. But I doubt that’s where Oliver is taking us.”

“I heard it’s kind of romantic down there.” Kali winks.

“Is it?”

“Wait.” Peyton stops us. “You should leave Mackenzie with me for the weekend. This way you two can have some adult-only time.”

“Oh absolutely not.” I shake my head. “I can’t go on a trip and leave her behind.”

“Why not?” Peyton asks.

“I just can’t. The one and only time she’s ever been away from me is when she stayed over at Emiline’s last weekend. Even that was a lot for me.”

It was hard to deny her that night. Mackenziewantedto go because she loves having these people in her life. Besides I was in the same town as her. I was right down the street from her and felt at peace with knowing she was still close if she needed me.

The thought of taking a flight to an entirely different state while she stays behind makes me feel like I’m abandoning her.

“I understand that.” Peyton’s soft tone cuts through my thoughts. “Being a mom is the hardest thing in the world. You question your worth just about every day and wonder if you’re doing the right thing in how you’re raising them.”

I nod because that’s so spot on.

“But it doesn’t make you a bad mom to do something for yourself. You’re allowed to take time away from your kids. You’re allowed to have adult-only time and step out of the role of being a 24/7 parent.” She stands to take a seat next to me, placing her hand over mine. “You’re a good fucking mom, Macey. I look up to you so much…your strength and how you’ve overcome so much, how you fought to get here and achieve your lifelong dream. I’m willing to bet Mackenzie sees that too. She’s such a smart,amazinggirl. She’s more advanced than any eight year old I’ve ever met. And guess what…youdid that. She’s the way she isbecauseof you.”

I blink away the tear that’s threatening to spill over.

Emotions I fight so hard to keep down so often bubble up inside of me. The days where it’s so hard, I have my daughter.

Peyton’s right. Mackenzie is such an amazing girl and I’m so damn lucky that I get to call her mine.

“You’re right,” I whisper. “About all of it. I just love her so much.”

“We know you do,” Kali interjects. “We love her too. It wouldn’t mean you love her any less if you decide to take a weekend off.”

“I seriously love having her over,” Peyton adds. “She and James really get along so well. I like to think of her as a bonus niece to the family.”

Her confession does it for me.

I swipe a hand across my cheek, brushing away the tear that escaped. Nothing warms my heart more than having people love Mackenzie the way I do. She deserves that kind of love. Every kid does. And she finally has that unconditional love from people who have welcomed us with wide open arms.

Am I seriously considering this?

“Okay.” I nod. “How about I ask her? Let’s see what she wants to do and we can go from there.”

“That’s a perfect idea,” Peyton agrees.

I make my way to her room, taking a deep breath before I knock.

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