Page 18 of On the Line

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Boyfriend …” Michelle says, and I quietly swivel around, trying to catch her eye. Fear and anxiety about what she’ll say next make my throat close up as I try to gulp in air. Somehow she deciphers my alarmed expression and quickly changes her tone. Her smile is wide and bright when she continues, “Right! I’ve heardsomuch about you. I’m Michelle, so nice to finally meet you.”

I’m not sure if it’s relief I feel when I notice Ozzy missing from his seat.

I don’t even have the wherewithal to wonder where he’s gone.

My emotions are a muddled mess, especially with Zachary acting so unusually charming. If I wasn’t so messed up with simply finding him here, maybe I’d be questioning a lot more than what I am at the moment. But for now, I ease back into my seat, Zachary taking Ozzy’s place at the bar.

For the next hour I feel foggy, as if I had slammed my head against the wall and suffered a concussion. Luckily Zachary carries the brunt of the conversation, mostly talking about himself. Michelle deserves an Oscar for the performance she’s giving, not even mentioning Ozzy’s sudden absence in front of Zachary, as if effortlessly picking up on everything that I’ve left unsaid.

Eventually, Quinn and Leo join us. I use the distraction to hide in a bathroom stall for a few minutes, desperatelytrying to regulate my erratic emotions. After a quick breathing exercise and a small splash of water to my nape, I walk out and spot Ozzy.

He’s tucked in a corner facing me, talking to an alt-looking girl who has her back to me.

His gaze is pinned to mine.

His smirk is slow when he raises his pint to his lips, missing its usual levity. Putting down his beer on the table next to him, he reaches up and gently strokes her hair. Ozzy’s eyes drop to hers, then swiftly back to mine. His fingers trail her naked shoulder, and I shiver, swallowing hard.

What the hell is happening.

Breaking eye contact, he lowers himself to whisper something into her ear. And then catches her earlobe with his teeth. His gaze skates briefly to mine before grabbing her face with both hands, kissing her. It’s rough, and heated, and … and … and I’m rooted to the spot, a swirl of contradicting feelings threatening to pull me under. But I keep watching.

My breath hitches when his eyes lift back to mine, his mouth still on hers.

His gaze is hot, yet it doesn’t burn.

Suddenly, the brunette feels like a proxy.

As if I’m the one he’s actually kissing.

As if it’s my body he’s groping.

I can almost feel the dig of his fingers into my hips.

The warmth of his lips on mine.

The guilt is sudden and visceral, consuming me as I remember Zachary is just a few steps away, sitting at the bar waiting for me.

I rip my gaze away, smoothing my skirt with my hands as I try to collect myself. I won’t survive the night if I spendanother minute in this place. I walk back to the bar, effectively ignoring Ozzy. I tell the gang I’m feeling sick, faking nausea, and Zachary seems as eager as I am to get out of here. We quickly say our goodbyes, leaving in a cab a few minutes later.

We head straight to bed when we get to Zachary’s, and relief washes over me when he doesn’t try to initiate sex, simply turning off the light and going to sleep.

7

JAMES

“Jamie, what the hell!”

I wake up with my arms flying, shoving Zachary away as if I’m being physically attacked. I push myself into a sitting position and look wildly around the room, catching my breath.

I’m in Zachary’s bed, having slept over after Stanley’s. It’s still dark, early morning based on the quiet chirps of birds outside.

“Whatwasthat?” Zachary says.

His tone is slightly worried, but I instantly pick up on the accusation in his voice.

My heart is beating hard against my chest as I lick my dry lips, still unsure of what just happened. I’m left with a lingering feeling of fear, shame, and unease. I can sense myself slipping back into a memory from six months ago. Of when I woke up one morning with similar forebodings … although there was a strong tint of anguish last time that took me weeks to recover from.

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