Page 82 of Heartbreak Hill

“Do you plan to see her again?”

“It’s not Nadia who I want to see,” he told her. “It’s the girls. My heart, this heart.” Again, he placed his hand over his chest. “It belongs to you. To the girls, Gemma and Lynnea. Not Nadia.”

She stood there, looking at the ground with her arms crossed over her chest. Grayson took timid steps toward her, afraid she’d bolt out of the room, out the front door, and out of his life. He regretted not telling her.

“That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it, Grayson? That’s not your heart.” Reid choked on her words as tears fell down her cheeks. “The one you had before, the one you swore loved me, but you were too in your head to make a commitment. The one you lied to me about ... that one.” She pointed to his chest and shook her head. “This onedoesn’t love me. So, here we are again. Right back to the beginning, just another excuse.”

“That’s not true, Reid. You have my heart. All of it. But those girls have a piece as well. Maybe the feelings will go away or change, but right now I feel heartbroken because I’m not with them.”

“That’s great, Grayson.”

“My feelings are about them, Reid. Not you. I’m solid there. I’m in love with you and I have been for as long as I can remember.”

“You don’t lie to the people you love, Grayson.” She stepped away from him. “I need some space.” With that, she picked up her purse and walked out the front door.

THIRTY

REID

It had been two weeks since Grayson had gone to Boston and come back with a somewhat life-altering confession. After she’d walked out, she’d gone to the park and sat at the playground, where she watched families play. Some children were there with both parents, some with a mom or dad or someone who could’ve been a babysitter. What Reid did was imagine the mom who was there, pushing her young son on the swing and then taking him down the slide, as Nadia. Reid would refer to Grayson’s ex by her name because she was more than his ex, and she suspected they’d know each other before too long. If Reid and Grayson were going to stay together, and if he insisted on being in the girls’ lives, he’d have to come clean to Nadia.

The young woman with the baby kept Reid’s attention. She watched how she doted on the boy, showering him with hugs and kisses, and not making a big deal when he fell. He didn’t cry but showed her his hand, which she kissed, apparently making it all better.

Reid barely remembered her mom, and of what she did remember, she wasn’t sure if they were her real memories or stories she’d heard over the years. Countless times, her grandmother or one of her aunts would start a story with “When your mom ...” or “Your mom used to ...,” and those stories had somehow turned into moments Reid rememberedas happening. The mind is funny that way, creating falsehood and blurring the lines between what’s real and what’s not.

Sort of like how Grayson felt with his heart. There was very little scientific proof to back up his claim, or others’ assertion that cellular memory existed. Reid had done her own research after Grayson told her about Boston. She searched every keyword she could think of, read every article, and scoured the bookstores for reading material on the subject. Very few existed, which scared her in ways she hadn’t imagined. Her mind told her Grayson was imagining things or making up answers for whatever validation he sought. It also made her think that he could become a test subject, for that matter, and she didn’t like that. What he felt was personal to him and his experience, and she wasn’t sure it needed to be shared. At least not with the outside world.

While she sat there, her phone rang, pulling her from her musings as she watched a stranger interacting with a child. Grayson’s photo filled her screen. Her finger rested on the silence button as she contemplated whether she wanted to talk to him or not. If she sent him to voicemail, he’d continue to call or text. She answered.

“Are you okay?” he asked her.

She thought for a moment at the open-ended question. Physically, she was fine. She wasn’t hurt or in any danger that she knew of. Emotionally, she was a wreck and confused, and she didn’t know how to process everything Grayson had told her. Reid wanted to support him, but she thought he’d gone too far.

“I’m okay, Grayson.”

“Where are you? Can I come to you?”

She said yes before she could stop the word from coming out. Every fiber of her being wanted to be with him, near him, even though her heart and mind conflicted with one another.

“I’m at the park. Where the playground is.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

He hung up. It would take him ten to get there. She called Melanie. When she answered, she told her everything as fast as she could. AllReid wanted was a little bit of advice on how to handle the situation or move forward.

“Wait, did he hook up with her?”

“No,” Reid told her. She believed Grayson when he’d said he hadn’t cheated, and she had no reason to say otherwise. Even before they were dating, he’d rarely dated other women, and the few times when he had gone out, he’d end up crashing at her place or calling her when he’d arrived home far too early for a date to be over.

A cheater he wasn’t.

What he’d done was so out of character for him that there was no way she wouldn’t forgive him, but it wouldn’t be easy.

“What do I do?” she asked Melanie.

“Shit if I know,” she told her. “I mean, my first inclination is to kick his ass out, but what if this is real, Reid? Like, what if what he’s feeling is a legit thing?”

“That’s what I’m worried about. What if he wants to be with them? He has a history with her, and now there are these two girls who lost their dad, who apparently have a hold on Grayson. Where does that leave me?”

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