Page 72 of Heartbreak Hill

Nadia did her best to ignore the girls, who continued to ask and to tell both cats that they were going to love them forever. She smiled at the clerk when she took her receipt and then told the girls to say goodbye.

They moped on the way to the car, and then chattered about how they couldn’t wait to get a cat. Or cats, being as each girl wanted her own. All Nadia could think about was the money a pet would costthem, and how a cat would chase her birds away. The latter couldn’t happen. She looked forward to seeing the cardinal every other morning, if not every morning. That cardinal was why she’d agreed to buy a birdbath. She would do whatever she could to keep the bird coming back to her home. Nadia needed to believe the cardinal was a gift from Rafe.

A sign that everything was going to be okay.

TWENTY-SIX

GRAYSON

Grayson hated lying to Reid. He told himself it was for the best and a onetime thing. She’d easily bought the excuse he’d come up with, of him and Pearce taking a guys’ weekend away. It wasn’t the first time they’d done something like that, but it was the first since his surgery and since Grayson had started dating Reid. Still, she was very supportive and all but pushed him out the door. She had made her own plans with Melanie. They planned to shop for a wedding dress. Definitely something Grayson couldn’t be a part of.

He and Pearce flew to Boston. Grayson had made the arrangements for them to fly right away. He didn’t want to wait to prove his theory correct. The sooner he could figure out what was causing the ache in his chest, the sooner he could put it to rest and tell his doctor that cellular memory was indeed the diagnosis.

After they’d landed and checked into their hotel, they took the Red Line subway to Harvard Square. From there, they walked to where the accident had been. The area was marked with ribbons and a cross.

He looked around. The area was busy with cars and pedestrians, most of whom he assumed were college kids from Harvard heading toward the square. They walked back toward the center of town, where the words FINISH LINEwere still visible on the road from the mostrecent race. People went in and out of restaurants and cafés. Music blared from portable speakers and through open car windows.

When the light turned red, Grayson stepped into the road and looked toward the memorial. Nadia easily could’ve stood where Grayson stood now and watched everything unfold. Had she witnessed her husband dying? God, he hoped not.

Pearce leaned against one of the brick buildings. Across the street, a man danced and tried to entice women walking down the street to dance with him. Grayson approached with a smile on his face.

“What’s so funny?”

Grayson nodded toward the man. “He wants to dance with somebody.”

Automatically, Pearce responded with “He wants to feel the heat with somebody.”

It was as if the man could hear them. The song changed to Whitney Houston, and they continued to laugh. Grayson and Pearce found an open bench and sat down, and Grayson sighed after a bit.

“Well?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. I don’t know. I guess I thought if I stood in the spot where he died, I’d feel something.”

“Like panic or fear?”

“Yeah, maybe.” In the research he’d done, he’d learned that people who believed they’d experienced cellular memory noted that they’d started eating foods they’d previously disliked or listened to music they normally wouldn’t. One person noted that she began dressing differently and discovered a love for baseball—a sport she’d previously loathed. No one ever wrote about experiencing an indescribable ache. Only their personalities had changed.

Because they were technically on a weekend excursion, they bought tickets for the Boston Duck Tour. They walked to the Prudential Center, which was another location on Grayson’s list of places. He knew this was where Rafe had worked, and yet he felt nothing when he looked at the building. He felt zero familiarity, and the ache was still present.

They boarded the most ridiculous-looking bright-blue boat on wheels and chose seats in the middle. Pearce sat next to the open window and offered to switch seats. Grayson told him to stay where he was. It was the least he could do, since his friend had come with him.

Grayson thought Washington, DC, held a lot of history, but the city had nothing compared to Boston. From the Freedom Trail to the burial grounds from the American Revolution to its successful sports teams, Boston didn’t lack anything. Many of the side streets were still narrow cobblestone roads, with town houses giving way to very little sidewalk. The view from the Charles, looking back at the city and along the esplanade, was one of the most breathtaking views he had ever seen. Instantly, he regretted not bringing Reid to experience this with him, and the ache he felt increased. He hated lying to her.

They ate dinner at Quincy Market, walked along the harbor (where Pearce threatened to dump his soda into the water, joking that it was tea), went into the train station under the arena that housed the Celtics and Bruins, and then finally made it back to their hotel room, where they crashed hard, both exhausted from a day of being tourists.

The next afternoon, Grayson drove their rental car to the address he’d paid for online. The entire drive over, he told himself the address was a fake, that he’d been scammed, and deservingly so. He pulled up in front of the home, with its white picket fence, large porch with two white rockers, and a sign that saidWELCOME.

“Am I making a mistake?”

“Yes,” Pearce said. “However, if it gets you over this feeling, then it needs to be done.”

Grayson stared ahead. Nadia lived in a cute neighborhood. The kind where people sat outside, talked to their neighbors, and probably closed off the street for summertime block parties.

Pearce got out of the car first, and he waited for Grayson on the sidewalk. He took a deep breath and got out. They went through the gate and up the stairs, and he knocked on the door. Part of him prayed she wasn’t home, while the other half wanted to see her and find out if she was the reason for the feelings he had.

The door swung open, and Grayson’s heart lurched in his chest. He was face to face with Reuben, Nadia’s brother.

They said each other’s names at the same time, and then Reuben gave Grayson a man hug. “What are you doing here?” Reuben asked enthusiastically.

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