Page 28 of Heartbreak Hill

“Are you staying up there?” Gemma asked from the bottom of the stairs.

Nadia shook her head and slowly made her way down. Gemma gripped her hand and led her mother into the madhouse that was the kitchen.

“Oh, honey. It’s good to see you up.” Her mother wore an apron Nadia didn’t remember owning. Nadia’s sister and Rafe’s sister sat in the breakfast nook where Nadia and the girls had shared their last meal with Rafe.

“Where’s Dad?”

“The men are in the other room, watching the news,” Sienna said. “Cleo’s in there as well.”

“I don’t want that on when the girls are in the room,” Nadia said to everyone there.

“Why?” Freya asked.

Nadia stared incredulously at her sister-in-law. Freya had to be kidding, right? Nadia looked from Freya to Gemma and Lynnea, and then shook her head.

“I don’t feel well. I’m going back upstairs.”

“Nadia, honey,” her mom started, but Nadia was already headed to the stairs. She felt Gemma staring at her each step she took, but she never turned around. Nadia didn’t need to see the disappointment on her daughter’s face.

No one prepares you for death. At least an unexpected death. Sure, if your loved one has a terminal illness, you can go to a support group or read a book about how to prepare. But there isn’t a manual on how to handle your grief, and the grief of others, when someone unexpectedly passes away.

No one prepares you for life after death. The things someone must do before they can properly grieve. The phone calls, paperwork, meetings—it’s a never-ending list ofWe need this,Give me that—all while you’re trying to come to terms with losing your husband, lover, father of your children ... your best friend.

Rafe was gone, and to Nadia nothing would ever be the same. Not the way she slept, showered, dressed, or got ready in the morning. Her once shiny and vibrant hair, the color her husband loved so much, was dull and lifeless. Her once naturally rosy cheeks looked pale.

Nadia stared at herself in the mirror of the guest bathroom. Whatever she had to do today, she could do tomorrow or the next day. What would the morgue do with Rafe’s body if she didn’t make arrangements right away? Throw him away? The doctors had already cut a massive Y in his torso to remove his heart, lungs, liver, kidneys,and whatever else they wanted. They piecemealed his body parts, spread them across the country to others. People who needed an organ to live, to restart their lives. The one Rafe needed couldn’t exist without its natural host.

She gripped the edge of the counter and swayed. She wasn’t ready and probably never would be. What was the rush in burying her husband? There wasn’t one. At least not for her. Nadia could go on and pretend Rafe was away on a business trip or gone for the weekend with his friends. The weekend would just never end, and she’d be okay with that.

NINE

GRAYSON

“Good morning,” an unfamiliar voice called out.

“Hi,” he said hoarsely. “Where am I?”

“MedStar,” the voice said. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Sore.”

“Grayson!” His mom sprang out of the oversize chair and was in his face. He closed his eyes at the way her hand felt in his hair.

“What happened?”

“You’re in the hospital. Do you remember me telling you this the other day?”

The other day?

“No,” he mumbled as he tried to adjust himself in the bed. “Why does my throat hurt?” Grayson looked at his mom and frowned. He had never seen her look ... old before. She had always been young for her age, and people often mistook her for his sister. One time someone had asked if she was his girlfriend, which made Grayson want to punch the guy. Not because he was insulted but because the man insinuated that his mom had done something untoward to him.

Sydney had raised Grayson on her own when her boyfriend abandoned her after he’d gotten her pregnant. Young (still in high school) and with no place to live, she’d worked and continued her education.She always put Grayson first and hadn’t abandoned him when the doctors told her he was sick. Sydney worked harder to give him a good life.

Now, her features made her look older than she was. Grayson was concerned.

He reached over, closed his eyes when stretching hurt, and rubbed his thumb under her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Mom?”

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