Page 33 of Alpha Varsity

Hurt. Fuck.

The memory of Lotta’s blood spilling into the sink flashes in front of my eyes, and my wolf snarls beneath the surface. I want to flatten some more of my teammates.

Of course, she’s fine. The cut was already closed by the time I joined her in the bathroom.

But I’m still fucking traumatized by her tears.

I know she wanted what I gave her. I’m damn sure it was consensual. She just didn’twantto want it. But to watch the girl of your dreams cry while you fuck her hard against a wall is more than unnerving. It disturbed me to my core.

“That.” Coach Jamison claps a hand against my helmet. “What are you thinking about, Asher?”

“Nothing, Coach.”

“So we lie to each other now? Is that how it is?” He pins me with a penetrating stare. It’s not his pack dominance that gets to me. It’s the fact that he cares.

He’s one of the very few people in this town who gives ashit about what happens to me. Who doesn’t lump me in with my no-good dad.

Fuck.

“It’s a girl,” I admit. I’m obviously not going to say which girl.

He waits without any reaction. Apparently that wasn’t enough of an explanation.

“We hooked up on the full moon run.”

“Without protection.” The disappointment in his tone is clear. I swear Coach Jamison takes his unofficial job as the team’s sex educator more seriously than training us for football.

“I pulled out.”

Coach shakes his head. “Not effective. How many times have I told you guys that?”

“Every full moon for the last four years,” I mutter. I should be shamed by Coach’s admonishment, but instead, a warm contented feeling is soaking through my PTSD from this afternoon.

But why?

I look around to see if Lotta is nearby.

I don’t see her. It’s just the team out here. Then I realize–

It’s Coach’s fear that I impregnated her. My wolf is responding to that idea with deep satisfaction. Like knocking up the art teacher at my high school is a good idea. Like she would ever want to have a family with me.

Keep her.

I hear the delusional whisper in my head.

But I don’t get to keep this girl. I don’t even want to keep her. I despise Lotta James for what she did.

I may desire her sexually, but that’s it. I will never getpast what she did. I won’t forgive her for it–not that she’s even asked for my forgiveness.

Besides, she can’t be with a student. She’d be fired if anyone found out.

“Morning after pill might still be an option. Dr. Oakley understands about the pull of a full moon. Doesn’t he stock that cabin of his with condoms for you kids?”

It’s true–Abe’s dad has made it clear since we were in middle school that his cabin is available for any of us. He’s another Wolf Ridge evangelist for safe sex.

“Yeah. I didn’t make it to the cabin.”

Coach Jamison peers at me. “You like this girl?”

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