Page 31 of Solitude

It’s been a little over a week since the three of us finally returned home for the first time in two years, and our presence has garnered some attention.

Edith and her friend, Carole, have taken up sitting on one of the public benches with books in their laps, closed and untouched, staring at us as we workout most mornings. They’re sipping coffee from Sugar with empty pastry bags crumpled up beside them.

It’s comical.

Carole makes eyebrows at us occasionally. She’s harmless, I think. She honestly pays more attention to Gus, and I think he likes it more than he cares to admit.

I also started back part-time at Bluebird Ranch for the summer. Something to keep me busy and active. Never thought I’d miss the farm work and manual labor, but I was happy to walk through those barn doors and see familiar faces. I remember being fourteen and dreading everyday I had to go to that ranch.

The Fletchers are good people, don’t get me wrong, and Beth Fletcher takes good care of the help. Her food is out of this fucking world. But it wasn’t worth it at fourteen when I was scooping horse shit all day.

Cole, the Fletchers’ middle child and poster boy for Magnolia Hollow it seems, stopped me in the grocery store yesterday. It was just chitchat, but the guys see me as an equal now. I’m no longer a scrawny kid unable to keep up. Now I’m throwing hay bales and putting up fence posts with the best of them, and it feels good to know they see that.

This is the thing that’s been lacking in my life until recently. The older I get the more I crave respect. I want to earn it, and when I do, there’s no greater feeling to me.With my teammates, they look up to me for guidance and leadership now that I’m a co-captain. Having that achievement under my belt humbles me instead of going to my head the way it would Gus or some of the other guys.

Now, I’ve earned the respect of some of the hardest workers I’ve ever met, and I eat that shit up.

The only person in town that seems indifferent to my return is the one person I can’t seem to stop thinking about; not one text or not-so-spontaneous meet up in the park.

Winnie Carmichael was practically a kid when I left for college.

She was all gangly limbs and braces and sad eyes. The first time I saw her on those swings with a mangled cupcake in her hands, I felt my chest tighten. Since I was a kid, I’ve always hated seeing people upset. It strangles a part of my soul that always cares too much.

Imagine my surprise when I see her in the park again with a pretty smile and long, blonde hair flowing over her shoulders and framing her face. I did a double take when I first laid eyes on her. Her ivory skin is covered in a slew of new freckles. Her legs are long, littered with small bruises that make me think she’s clumsier than my mother, which she proved true when she stumbled after me in the park. On top of that, her pajamas had clung to her body in a way that made menoticeher for the first time.

And her voice…

Melodic. Like my new favorite song.

Two years changed so much.

Pushing through my workout with a shake of my head to clear my thoughts, I finish my circuit before Ben and Gus, and I pack up without them. Normally, Sunday would be a rest day for us if we were still in Texas during the season, but I agreed to go to family dinner at the ranch so I could catch up with everyone properly. I planned to come out by myself this morning to burn off my extra energy, but my two shadows tagged along anyway.

“I’m dying,” Gus pants out as he collapses in the sand at my feet. “I need water.”

I grab his water bottle and chuckle. “You didn’t have to come, you know.”

He chugs, his breathing coming in and out in harsh intervals. “Fuck you, Beckett. If the captain is training, I am, too.”

“I’m not training, yet.”

“Then why the fuck are you working out so hard?”

I shrug. “Too much energy.”

Gus smirks, “You need to get laid, huh?”

“Shut up.”

Two minutes later, Ben falls beside him and steals his bottle before chugging the rest of it. Gus punches him in the arm in retaliation, and I roll my eyes.

“I thought you were dying?” I toss the other water bottle towards them and let them fight over it for a moment.

Gus smiles and shrugs a shoulder as he wins control of the bottle first. “I’m young. I recover quickly.”

Ben slumps against Gus and opens his mouth, and Gus pourswater directly into his mouth before lifting the bottle to his own lips.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I kick some sand in Gus’s lap. “Don’t be gross…”

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