Page 75 of Solitude

Stevie undoes her harness and scrambles out of the car, holding onto Elle’s hand and bouncing around while Jude takes longer to unbuckle. He lets me help him and situate his backpack on his shoulders then presses a kiss to my hand and waves bye.

“Have a good day, Stevie! Jude! I love you!”

They don’t answer, already tugging Elle towards the school entrance, and another teacher comes by to shut the back door and wave me off so the line can move forward.

Parking on the square is limited, but I manage to snag a spot on the other side of Sugar somehow, winding my way through the line to the building. I throw the door open and smile at the people waiting before letting it close and searching for Gwen.

“Gwen?”

“Win?”

“Are we playing Marco Polo? Where are you?”

Gwen pops out of the kitchen with flour on her nose, and I smile. Walking to the back, I look around the shop with awestruck eyes, nerves trickling back in. Gwen has trays upon trays of cupcakes in the walk-in fridge on standby, and I’m praying we haven’t overestimated how popular the opening is going to be.

Gwen tsks as soon as she sees me. “Nope. Nuh-uh. Wipe that look off your face.”

“This is just my face.”

“Well… You have bigger problems than worrying about this opening then. Like how you managed to land a husband with that sour look.”

I grabbed the closest thing to me—a blueberry—and tossed it at her. “Rude.”

Gwen dodged the berry and giggled. “Seriously. Did you see all of those people? It’s going to be great.”

“Yeah… I just…”

“Wish your super hot, totally hunky husband was here to celebrate with you?”

With a pout, I nod. “Is that stupid?”

Gwen grabs my shoulder and squeezes. “Yes.”

“Says the woman whose husband will be here,” I murmur as I slap her hand away with a huff. “I’m going to check on the book side so I can get away from you and your joy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine, but sure. Go check itagain.”

I swipe a cupcake from the stack and walk away from her protests with a smile.

Bluebird Ranch is the same as always.

Jude, Stevie, and I walk hand in hand down the long,winding dirt driveway together, and I savor these moments with the two of them.

They’re growing up before my eyes, and it’s hard watching them slowly become more independent. Stevie is still in her tutu and rain boots, and Jude had such a good day at school that he’s wearing an eye patch he swiped from the treasure chest as he left the classroom.

Pretty soon these two babies won’t need me, and that’s a hard pill for me to swallow, which is crazy in and of itself considering I never thought I’d be good at this whole parenting thing.

Turns out, just because you have bad parents who want nothing to do with you doesn’t mean you also have to be that way. Beck tells me it’s called breaking the cycle, and I broke it. He’ll tuck my blonde hair behind my ears and cup my face, kiss me sweetly, and show me how proud of me he is.

Lorelai and Colson divorced two years ago, and Lorelai moved to Washington to work in some fancy hospital where she could be the best of the best and leave behind this old life of hers. Colson… Well, I think he’s trying to get back in my good graces. At least that’s what Beck says.

He moved back into town a year ago, and he works with Jon Hamilton on the square. Now, he’s renting an apartment near the beach. Some little family that is far more deserving of my childhood home lives there now with the yard cluttered with toys. Every time I drive by it makes me smile.

Makes me wonder who’s making memories in my old bedroom.

My safe haven from the solitude.

“Where’s daddy?” Stevie asks, interrupting my thoughts.

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