Page 43 of Solitude

Beck just nods, his grin wide and dazzling. “I look for you in every crowd lately, you know.”

“You do?”

“Is that so surprising?” He lifts a brow.

“I’m right here, Beck. I always have been,” I tell him as I take a step closer. “You’ll never have to look too hard for me.”

He shifts closer, and I can smell his soft, woodsy scent all around me as his eyes dip to my red lips. “I?—”

“Beckett Hale!”

I startle backwards as Cole and Matt Fletcher stride towards us, smiles on their faces as they hug Beck. He extends his arms out so the cups don’t get smashed againsthis chest, and I take one of them to help. He shoots me an appreciative look from over Cole’s shoulder.

“When’d you get back?” Matt asks, opting to clap Beck on the shoulder instead. “Pretty sure Sylvia told Mom you weren’t coming back at the holidays anymore.”

Beck shrugs, cheeks turning a light shade of pink as his eyes flick to mine before looking back at the men in front of him. “I missed being home.”

“Right,” Cole says, catching onto the moment he clearly interrupted. “Well, we were on our way to get some lemonade and hot chocolate for Blake.”

Matt rolls his eyes. “She insists she needs both.”

I chuckle. “She asked for another puppy from Santa earlier, so be prepared for that, too.”

“We have three dogs.” Matt rubs his forehead. “She told me she wanted her own goat to keep in the house, too.”

Cole smirked. “Looks like I know what I’m making a last-minute trip to get my favorite niece for Christmas.”

“I’ll knock your fuckin’ teeth out if you bring a goat into my home,” Matt threatens, and my eyes widen.

I’ve gotten used to their bantering and the rather aggressive way they talk to each other now that I’ve been helping on the ranch more during the week, but I’m an only child. Any sibling relationship fascinates me.

Cole and Matt wander off after another minute, but I don’t have time to talk to Beck again before Jamie Wilson, a junior at Magnolia Hollow High School, tugs on my arm with an urgent emergency. She started her period and bledthrough her elf skirt. (I gave her my sweats I planned to change into later.)

“Wait for me?” I ask, scared Beck will disappear if I leave.

He grins, dimples creasing his cheeks. “You’ll have to find me.”

I shoot Beck a cheesy grin and take off to fix one crisis after another.

It’s not until Santa’s workshop closes at eight o’clock that I’m finally able to search for Beck this time. I take longer than I’d like, but that’s what happens now that I’ve inserted myself so deeply in the community that people come to me with questions.

I finally find him and Ben seated at a table in Sugar crafting ornaments as Gwen cleans around the shop and sells the last of her cupcakes.

She waves at me as I walk inside and silently screams, pointing at Beck while doing an excited little jig behind the counter. I share her sentiments before smoothing my features as I approach their table.

“Found you.”

Beck lifts his head and smiles softly at me. He looks exhausted, and I feel bad for asking him to wait.

“Sorry,” I say, taking a seat at the table. I nod at Ben, who’s making the most intricate snowy escape on his ornament I’ve ever seen. “Everyone seemed to have some kind of question anytime they passed me.”

Beck chuckles, leaning back in his seat, eyes dipping to examine me. “It’s nice to see you so happy.”

I remember one of our many conversations on the swing set last summer. How Beck equates purpose with being happy. Have I finally found my purpose in this small town? Maybe. I’ve been happier in the last few months than ever before. I’m not worried about what comes next or how this will look in the eyes of my parents.

I’m just existing and being happy.

Like Beck suggested.

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