Page 30 of Solitude

My brow furrows. “Really what? It’s just Holden.”

“He was flirting with you, kid.” Cole crosses his arms over his chest. “Right, mama?”

“Oh, that boy is harmless,” Beth states dismissively. Then she looks over her shoulder at us with a sly grin. “But between us, he knew you’d be here today because I told him. He’s so smitten with you, Winnie.”

Cole chuckles.

Meanwhile, I squeak. “Smitten! What?”

“He’s a good, gentle boy.” Beth explains slowly, wiping her hands on her hand towel. “He’s not too old, and you know he’s a hard worker. Maybe a little thoughtless at times, but he’s sweet and caring. Cute as a button, too.”

Thenshewinks at me!

“Everyone needs tostopwinking at me immediately!”

Beth huffs, and Cole looks like he’s having a psychotic break with the way he’s repeatedly winking at me.

“I know you’re young,” Beth says, stepping closer to me. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun. You do nothing for yourself, and you deserve to let a nice boy—or girl—take you out and spoil you a bit.”

“Oh, my god.”

Cole nods, pointing at his mom. “She’s right. By your age, I was… Well, I was living my life and enjoying myself. Let’snotfocus on what I was doing actually.”

I take some solace in the way Cole ducks his head.

“I know you’ll go to college soon, and you’ll get thrown right into a social life,” Beth says casually, like she isn’t ripping my heart to shreds. “But you don’t have to wait to have a little fun, baby.”

I squeeze my eyes closed, fully aware that I cannot cry right now without having to divulge my secret to the two of them.

My throat is thick as I speak. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

Fortunately, Cole gets a phone call from work that means he has to leave, and I’m spared from his inquisitive looks and concern for another day. Beth is a little harder to shake, but eventually, she backs off, fussing over a pot on the stove that she almost burns.

It’s not until I’m taking bread out of the oven that I think about Holden again. The thought doesn’t last long because thinking of beautiful, kind men immediately makes me think of Beck.

Even if I had the inclination to date right now, I’m so hung up on Beckett that my brain won’t allow me to see anyone else. It’s crazy, I know.

I try to conjure up an image of Holden. He’s attractive, I’ll admit. Short, blonde hair that curls around his face. He mainly keeps his head covered by a cowboy hat, or at least whenever I see him. Most of the time, he’s in worn, dirty jeans, a snap-button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and muddy boots.

Dark blue eyes, freckles over the bridge of his nose, red-blonde stubble on his cheeks and jaw, full lips.

But he doesn’t havedimples.

Holden doesn’t have dark hair, and the blue in his eyes doesn’t drown me every time I look into them. Holden doesn’t have tiny tattoos hidden underneath his clothesand a scar running through his lip. Holden doesn’t run through the sand every morning like a crazy person or wear a backwards cap. Holden doesn’t look at me with an intensity that makes my knees weak.

Maybe if Beck wasn’t always in the forefront of my mind, I’d be able to give Holden a fighting chance, which is an absurd thought when there is no Beck and I anyway.

Beth is right about one thing, though. I deserve to have fun. Whether or not I leave Magnolia Hollow.

Beck

My lungs burn and sweat drips down my face as I run through the sand with Ben and Gus hot on my heels.

I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I’m faster than the two of them, on and off the ice, but my chest is on fire, my calves burn, and I’m damp in places I’d rather not be. My shirt came off thirty minutes into our workout, and I tucked it into the waistband of my athletic shorts so I didn’t lose it in the sand.

My skin is already sticky enough. The last thing I need is sand all over my skin, abrasive and chafing.

Ben and Gus tossed their shirts near our bags because they don’t care, I guess, but I can’t think of anything worse.

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