Every move I make will be observed. When I run my fingers over my collarbone, twirl to greet a guest, or bend to speak to someone seated so that my décolletage is on full display, it will set their hearts racing and fingers clenching on the stems of their wine glasses. My younger naïve self had been uncomfortable with this avid attention once. There was an unease in knowing that I could never hide my being different, with my tilting dark eyes and gold-touched skin, and that this very difference made me desirable to men. An exotic trophy, a status symbol to be pursued andflaunted. But like my corset, I have learned to think of it as armor, this beauty passed down from my great-grandmother. And tonight, though I have not had a sip of champagne, I feel half-drunk with my own power over these men who rule London society.
“Lucy, your mamma and Jonathan are over here,” Mina says. She has recognized the signs of intoxication in me and steers me away from a cluster of men who are watching me with hungry eyes. “And look, they’re with Lord and Lady Godalming.”
“That means Arthur must be close by,” I say with incorrigible sparkle. I am not to be quenched, not even by my beloved friend. Not tonight.
“There you are, girls,” Mamma says pleasantly. She and I look nothing alike, but she is almost as pinned and trussed and pinched as I am, though to a more forgiving degree. Men relax their expectations when a woman has passed a certain age. Still, her maids have taken great care with her appearance, swirling her ash-blond hair into a perfect knot above her ropes of pearls and eminently suitable gown of lavender silk moiré. She also wears a gold locket identical to my own, embedded with Yorkshire jet and carrying a photograph of Papa. “How pretty you both look tonight! Mina, I adore that dress on you.”
Jonathan Harker is perhaps the only man in the room who does not spare me a glance. His attention is all for Mina, and his eyes on her are so full of wanting that I feel a familiar ache deep inside me. “I agree with Mrs. Westenra. You look like a mermaid, my love,” he says, taking Mina’s hand and rubbing his thumb over her fingers.
Lord Godalming, on the other hand, is gazing at me as intently as any other hot-blooded man in the room. “My goodness, Lucy, how you’ve grown,” he says. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you since you were just a little thing. Andnowlook at you.”
“It wasn’t that long ago, dear,” Lady Godalming tells her husband, laying a hand across the back of his wheelchair. “We saw Mrs. Westenra and Lucy only a few years ago, before we went to the Continent. Don’t you remember? She was full grown then.”
But not like this, he is clearly thinking, even as he replies, “Of course. You’re right.”
“How are you, my lord?” I ask demurely. “I heard you had gone abroad for your health.”
His wife interjects before he can respond. “He is as well as can be expected. His heart still acts up from time to time, and so he avoids walking when possible.”
“I suppose dancing is out of the question, then?” I press a hand over my heart in disappointment. “I regret losing the opportunity to have such a distinguished partner.”
His Lordship’s face reddens with surprise and delight.
“Out of the question, indeed,” Lady Godalming says with a tight smile. “Though I am certain you will not want for partners tonight, so charming as you are, Lucy.”Save your flirting for the other men, you little tart, her eyes tell me.
Meanwhile, Mina’s eyes are begging me to leave the poor man alone, and I can scarcely ever refuse her anything. “Congratulations on your engagement, Jonathan,” I say, turning to him. “And on your impending business trip to Austria-Hungary. Mina has told me all about it.”
“Thank you,” Jonathan says, still holding her hand. “I’m a fortunate man. The job seems straightforward enough. My client wishes to purchase property here in London, and Mr. Hawkins has given me authority over the matter, to increase my independence in the business.”
“How wonderful,” Mamma says. “I assume by that show of confidence that he expects you to take over the practice for him one day? I understand he is advanced in his years.”
“He is approaching seventy, though you wouldn’t know it to look at him,” Jonathan says, laughing. It makes his grey eyes dance and his whole face light up, damn him. Mina gazes up at him like he is a pastry she could devour. “Yes, he has shown me every kindness as an adopted son and now potential heir. I am grateful that someday, if I prove myself worthy, I will have the means to take care of Mina in the way she deserves.”
“And any children you may have,” Lady Godalming adds, looking indulgently at them.
Mina tucks her head into Jonathan’s chest, blushing.
“May they be many in number,” Mamma chimes in. “God willing.”
Someone moves to stand quietly by my side. I know he is coming before I see him because I smell a scent I recognize from the Stokers’ ball: a combination of shaving cream, a whiff of pine, and cigar smoke. Immediately, I think of his hand on my waist and the distracting warmth of him as we danced. I remember how small I had felt against him, as though his body could swallow up the whole of mine. My pulse picks up, my breath seems to stop short in my lungs, and it takes every ounce of my self-control to appear serene and unaffected. I do not turn my head to look at him.Good lord, I think.I must really be lost.
“Mrs. Westenra, please forgive me for not coming over right away to greet you,” Arthur’s low, calm voice says. “I ran into an old friend I have not seen in some time. I hadn’t realized you were acquainted with Dr. Jack Seward.”
Mina and I exchange glances. Her lips fold inward, holding back a laugh that the two admirers who had sent me flowers tonight happen to be friendly.
“That’s quite all right,” Mamma says, her eyes darting between him and me, enjoying the sight of us together. “Dr. Seward was a friend of my late husband’s. He’s a fine young man.”
“As is Mr. Harker, from what I hear,” Arthur says politely, bowing to Jonathan. “I must congratulate you on your beautiful bride-to-be, sir. I understand you are the guests of honor.”
Jonathan returns the bow. “Thank you, Mr. Holmwood. I am grateful to Mrs. Westenra and Lucy for giving us this party. We had intended to have a small, quiet engagement to go with our small, quiet wedding, but these kind ladies would not hear of it.”
“Of course not,” Mamma says, chuckling. “I can never do too much for such a lovely young couple, especially when the bride is like a sister to my Lucy.”
I wait for Arthur to acknowledge me, but he says only, “I am sure your generosity is well deserved, Mrs. Westenra,” before turning the conversation to Jonathan’s upcoming travels, as though I had not been brought into the conversation at all.
So, I think.He asks me to dance in October and sends me flowers tonight and has now decided to ignore me.I am long accustomed to toying with the feelings of men, but having my own emotions manipulated is not a pleasant sensation. Or indeed, acceptable.
“Excuse me, Mamma. My lord and lady,” I murmur to our elders as Arthur is asking about the route Jonathan will take through Germany. “I must see to our other guests.”