Page 67 of Now Comes the Mist

“Jack Seward,” I say, and Vlad’s eyes twinkle at me. Something eases in my chest like a ribbon untangling. “I will not thank you for releasing Jonathan from captivity, as it was only the right thing to do. But I am glad you did for Mina’s sake.”

“I didn’t do it for her. I did it for you, because you asked me to.” His eyes find the marks on my throat. “You did not deserve such pain, not when I can choose to make it pleasurable, as you saw with the widow. Jonathan, too, though he is much more ill than you have been, for he was bitten many times and also had to survive the treacherous lands around my castle. That he did is proof of his strength. He will recover and marry that wonderful Miss Murray.”

“Bitten many times.” My words come out as both a groan and a gasp.

“He enjoyed it. We made certain of that.” When Vlad looks at me, an image appears in my mind of the ever proper and self-possessed Jonathan Harker, looking neither proper nor self-possessed as he lies stark naked on a bed, his arms and legs sprawled apart while Vlad and two dark-haired women bend their heads over him, their wicked red mouths tasting more than just his blood. Vlad laughs, watching me shiver. “Oh, yes, he enjoyed it indeed.”

I know full well that this is part of his strategy to possess me. He can choose unnecessary pain and violence when it pleases him to hurt and frighten me, and he can choose to be tender and playful when it serves him best, because he knows that kindness will win me back to him. Always, the choice is his. Not mine.

But Iwillchoose. I have played the game of love for many years, with many men, and I can manipulate as well as he can, though I have not his powers.

Gently, I pull my hand out of his. “It felt wrong, the way you and I parted that evening, and so I came tonight to say a better goodbye. Thank you for being my friend, and for giving me a measure of freedom and happiness that I will never know again.”

“Goodbye?” he echoes.

“I am marrying Arthur soon and must put all of this behind me.” I feel no invasion of my mind at present, but as I speak, I imagine another shield around my skull, strong and silver, keeping my thoughts secret. I let it snap into place as I look up at the stars, taking care to show nothing upon my face. “I, too, have done much thinking this week, after you showed me the pain and brutality of being bitten. You say it can be pleasurable, but I have only known terror and suffering. So perhaps it is wise that I give it up. Giveyouup.”

Vlad looks at me, his eyes piercing, and I wonder for a moment if I have overplayed my hand. And then he asks, “But why, if you have known freedom and happiness with me, must you give me up?” And I know that I have him. I have him, and we shall see who controls whom.

“It frightens me how right this feels, being with you. Even the marks you left on my throat feel right.” I touch the scars lightly with a fingertip. “I can’t stop thinking about how close I came to what I wanted. I don’t regret asking you for it. But I think it is time we said farewell.”

“Why do you think,” he asks slowly, “it is yours to decide if we say farewell, or when?”

I ignore the flicker of anger that rises in me. “We must, for I would come closer to being the woman I ought to be. I must be perfect, the sortof wife Arthur deserves, for soon I will belong to him and only to him. You are the moon and the mist, beautiful and terrible … but now I must turn my eyes to the sun. To Arthur.”

There is a long silence, and I know that I was right to protect my thoughts. Around my skull I feel a tingle, the sensation of Vlad probing for the truth inside me. I close my eyes and bow my head, as if in sadness, and focus on strengthening that shield and keeping him out.

“Marrying him will be the end of everything you are,” he says. “You told me that you and I are equals. Isheyour equal? What happened to your desire formore?”

“I have no right to desire more,” I say calmly. “I will have a beautiful home, a good name, and a loving husband. Arthur is my kindred soul after all, and not you.”

Vlad’s eyes have darkened to a poisonous green. “But you and I found each other for a reason. Did you not imply that we were always destined to meet, perhaps for eternity?”

I stand up. Even on my feet before him, he is so tall that we are almost at eye level. “You exhaust me, Vlad,” I say with honest fury. “I am tired of you pulling me like a kite in whatever direction you please. I begged you to let me be with you, and you rejected me. And now, when I want to leave you to regain my virtue and dignity, you lure me back? I cannot stand this!”

He takes my hands in his iron grip. “Lucy, calm yourself. You will not leave me,” he says, his voice low and determined, spurred on by my refusal of him.

“Why should I stay with you?” I demand. “You don’t want me. You like a challenge, not a woman who runs to you with her arms open. That is whatyoutold me. And so I must belong to Arthur, when what I truly wish is to give myself to—” I cut myself off and turn my head away as though I can’t bear to look at what I cannot have.

“Give yourself to whom?”

I close my eyes and do not answer.

He keeps my hand tight in one of his, and with the other, turns my face back toward him. His eyes are so dark now that they look almost black, and for a moment I see a flash of the great grey wolf in his features. “Give yourself to whom?” he asks, the words slow and deliberate.

“To you,” I whisper. “I want to be yours, Vlad.”

He stares at me, deep into my eyes, and I feel my resistance wavering as he begins to reach into my mind. But I steel myself, hard. I think of thesilver of Mina’s bracelet and of my great-grandmother’s ring, and of all the people who love me, and I push away his intrusion.

“I want to be yours,” I repeat as I bring his hand to my lips, feeling the sharp edges of his garnet ring. And then I grip his fingers, bring the gem to my neck, and scratch my throat as hard as I can beneath the two wounds. A bright, wet, hot line of pain bursts across my skin, and at the smell of my blood, Vlad’s eyes shift at once into great dark pupils ringed with scarlet.

Roughly, he seizes me by the waist and pulls me to him, but I put my hands on his chest to keep us apart. He is a being that does not need breath, yet his broad shoulders are heaving as though from exertion. Slowly, I bring my face an inch from his. “This time,” I say, very low, “I want to feel pleasure. I want you to give me what you gave to Jonathan.”

Vlad’s fangs snap down, and fear slips through my desire. I am in the arms of a monster that could tear my head off with a flick of his wrist, yet I dare toy with him as he does me. His hands slide to my bottom, crushing me against him as his mouth laps up the blood on my throat. I tense, remembering the awful pain of his bite, but his fangs do not touch me. Instead, I feel the long, slow stroke of his freezing tongue tasting my throat and my collarbone. He tears my nightdress off my shoulders, exposing my breasts to his cunning, clever mouth. The edges of his fangs just brush my nipples, featherlight. I cry out and lean my head back, closing my eyes at the unbearable sweetness of it.

He raises his head and fixes his wicked, blood-ringed eyes upon me. “If it’s pleasure you want, Lucy, then I will give it to you,” he whispers. “We both know you will not get it from Arthur, not like this. He doesn’t know what you want. But I do.”

With one swift and powerful movement, he lifts me onto his lap, facing him. He is like granite against me, and so, so cold. I lock my legs around him and shiver against the bulk of his massive body as his embrace devours me whole. His mouth sucks at the cut on my throat as his hands slide up my bare legs, bringing the hem of my nightdress with them. His thumb skims my upper thigh, and I shift impatiently on his lap, trying to bring it where I want it.

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