Page 8 of Forest of a Thousand Lanterns

“Yes? Go on.” She cackled when Xifeng remained silent. “You can’t even say it, can you? Youcan’tlove him back, after all? I’ve taught you better than I expected.”

“Idolove him,” Xifeng said fiercely, throwing all caution to the wind. “And you could never teach me something you’ve never felt.” There was a long silence, as though in professing her love, she had uttered a vile obscenity.

Guma lifted the cane and ran the end of it gently over her niece’s cheek. Xifeng went rigid. A bead of perspiration trickled down her back, but she did not take her eyes off the older woman.

“The palace,” Guma said in a pleasant voice, as though they were drinking tea and chatting about the weather. “You’ve decided to believe me, then? Youshallbe the Empress. I’m pleased you’re taking it seriously at last.”

“I never meant to doubt you. But I didn’t know whether I would havechosen that life for myself, if I could.” Xifeng let out a frayed breath. “I still don’t know, but I intend to find out.”

Guma lowered the cane and leaned upon it. “Women never choose for themselves. It is for their fathers, mothers, and husbands to do so, and since you haven’t any of those, you must listen to me. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, Guma.”

“Tell me, how will you travel to the Imperial City?”

“I don’t know. We’ll take his horse, I suppose.” Xifeng’s eyes flickered to the cane again.

“And where will you find the money for provisions?”

“I don’t know.”

“How will you enter the city without paperwork? Or the palace?”

Xifeng’s face warmed under her aunt’s smirk. They seemed such simple matters, ones she and Wei ought to have discussed. She had assumed he would have a plan in mind.But why should he be the only one planning?“I have some embroidery I could sell at market,” she said. “That will buy us food for a day or two. As for entering the city, we could persuade a merchant to let us join his caravan. Wei can sharpen his tools and weapons as payment.”

Guma tutted gently. “You say this boy loves you, but he hasn’t helped you plan at all. He knows nothing of caring for you.” Her voice grew softer. “Let me go with you, to help you.”

In that moment, Xifeng understood what she had been afraid to admit: Guma knewexactlyhow to use her. One kind word, and Xifeng would do whatever she wanted. And it would continue: the scolding, beating, and examining every morsel she ate and every minute she spent. It made no difference whether they were in a forsaken town or the Imperial Palace.

“No,” she heard herself say. “My life and my destiny are my own.”

The bamboo cane came down with a sickening crack. Xifeng collapsed, gathering the sack to her body as she closed her eyes against the blinding pain in her shoulder. She felt Guma’s claws trying to turn her over, the nails pinching and scratching her skin.

“You owe your love tome!” her aunt snarled, punctuating each sentence with a vicious poke of the cane. “You owe everything tome. Who could love you more than I do? After all I’ve done for you, and you’re ready to abandon me after a tumble with some good-for-nothing.” She paused, muttering, “You’re just like your mother.”

Xifeng felt a sob escape at those words, which hurt more than the cane ever would. This was what Guma thought of her after all: weak, useless, contemptible. “I tried so hard to please you,” she wept. “I did everything you asked of me.”

“It’s a pity Ning wasn’t born beautiful. She’d be one hundred times the niece you are.”

Rage swept through Xifeng, scorching the edges of her sorrow. It gave her the courage to look her aunt in the eye, and when she did, Guma’s cruel smile strengthened her even more. “I wish she were your niece,” she spat. “I’d rather be dead than shackled to you my whole life. I don’t ever want to be as bitter and withered and poisoned as you are.”

The cane whipped upward and knocked Xifeng beneath the chin. Guma placed the tip of the cane on her face and let it rest there delicately, like a kiss. “Careful, child,” she whispered. “One movement and I could take out your eye. I could break your nose. And where would you be without that beauty? Would life be as easy? Would men still give you gifts? Would Wei still want you without that face?” Xifeng cried out as Guma applied pressure to the cane. It bit into her smooth, blooming cheek, and something warm trickled along her jaw. “Let me tell you alittle secret, lotus flower. Your beauty is all you are, and all you have. Your only weapon.”

Xifeng gritted her teeth as Guma leaned forward, hand poised on the head of the cane, ready to drive it through her skull.

“I wonder,” her aunt murmured, “what would happen if I took it all away.”

The anger surged, taking control of Xifeng’s limbs. She twisted her body, feeling the cane cut into her face as she lifted her foot and kicked out into the woman’s soft stomach. There was a sound like a fist in a sack of rice, and Guma collapsed, the cane rattling uselessly on the floor as she folded herself in half. Her face contorted with pain and shock.

“Guma,” Xifeng gasped, her fury bleeding away as quickly as it had come. “What have I done?” But her aunt was crawling, fingers stretching for the cane, and Xifeng hurried to pick it up. She held it out of reach and stood over the woman who had raised her, tasting the sourness of guilt in her mouth. “You will not beat me any more,” she said quietly.

“You... are all I have,” Guma wheezed. “I have been... the best mother I could.”

“A true mother would love me. Cherish me.” Tears burned the wound on Xifeng’s face. “I’ve never been anything to you but a possession, to be used for your own ends.”

“Xifeng...”

“I am afraid to be without you. I am afraid to face this Fool without you by my side,” she admitted. “But I have to believe I can follow my destiny on my own.”

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