Page 62 of Forest of a Thousand Lanterns

“You kept your promise,” he said. “You said we’d find a way to meet. But how?”

“I have a eunuch friend.”

He shook his head. “You always find a way to get what you want.”

She pulled him even closer to her. “I wish I could take you back to my chamber.”

“With the Empress only a few rooms away?” He gave her such a funny look that she kissed him, her heart swelling. He shucked his robe, spreading it on the floor and drawing her down beside him. They lay wrapped in each other, staring at the intricate carvings on the roof. “I can’t take you back to where I sleep, either. I share a room with five other soldiers.”

She traced the lines of his face with her fingertips, and he caught her thumb with a kiss. For the first time since entering the palace, she almost felt like herself again, with Wei beside her.Almost, but not completely.She shifted and a sliver of moonlight crept over her tunic, just over where the creature slept—or listened in silence. “You haven’t changed at all,” she told Wei, to take her mind from it. “You’re just as I like to think of you. Still that same boy from our village.”

He pressed his lips between her ear and her neck, and she shivered. “You seem different to me. You’ve always been beautiful, of course, but...” He held her away a bit, scanning her face, and some of her dread returned. Could he see, in the dim light, the dark thoughts soiling her mind? Did he know, just by looking at her, what she had allowed the creature to suggest to her, as Lady Sun’s heart glowed in her chest in the mirror-water?

“I’m well fed now.” She snuggled back against him to hide from hisdiscerning gaze. “Three square meals a day will do that to a woman.”

He ran his fingers tenderly along her new curves. “That must be it. I wish...”

“What? Tell me.” But even as she urged him, she feared what he might say... what he might again ask of her. She saw in his eyes that he too was remembering their fight.

“I wish we could be like this always.”

Relieved, she nestled in his arms as he talked about his life in the army, about training and the weapons he’d learned to use: chariots and catapults, crossbows and siege ladders. She closed her eyes, enjoying the familiar rise and fall of his chest. In that moment, she thought she might not have hurt him if he’d asked her to marry him again. She might have said yes and let him sweep her away from kings and destinies and scheming concubines—away from what she both feared and yearned to do to protect herself and him, too.

“What has life been like for you?” he asked, and it was a long moment before Xifeng knew how to answer. She couldn’t hide her emotion when she told him about the concubines. Wei went rigid when she spoke of the hundred lashes Lady Sun had ordered for her.

“Even I’ve heard much of her,” he said. “They say she considers herself invincible and quite the Empress. You must be careful not to anger her further.”

Too late,she thought, remembering the realization in Lady Sun’s eyes when the guards had taken her away to be searched. Still, she said forcefully, “She ought to be careful ofme. She stirred up trouble first, and Guma always said what one brings about will return.” She immediately regretted mentioning her aunt as Wei sat up.

“Lady Sun has given the Emperor a son, the first and only of his blood. The child is in the line of succession behind the three princes.Whether or not she truly is untouchable, that fact gives her a great deal of power.” He frowned at her. “What has that Guma of yours advised you to do? I hope she wasn’t so unwise as to encourage you to plot against a consort.”

Xifeng gave a growl of frustration. “You always assume I’m some flighty, stupid creature of my aunt’s, and not a separate, thinking being of my own.”

“She was the one who wanted you to come to court... but to accomplish what, exactly?” he persisted.

She sat up and drew her robe more tightly around her shoulders. They were close, too close to the truth, and if Wei probed further, he would find the answer she’d tried so hard to hide from him. “Have you ever considered thatIwanted to come here? That I am capable of making my own decisions? After all this time,” she said bitterly, “you still believe I’m naïve and helpless.” He tried to put his arms around her, but she pulled away. “If we’re going to fight every time we’re together, we shouldn’t meet anymore.”

“Don’t say that, Xifeng,” he begged. “I’m sorry. I only want you to be free of her. She has a hold on you I can’t understand.”

“She’s myaunt. She’s my family. You’re determined to hate her until the end.” It both touched and irritated her, his insistence on blaming Guma for every bad thought she had and every choice she made. But he had a point. Through the haze of incense, the waterfall had shown visions of Guma’s past that complicated the stories she’d told Xifeng. There were too many mysteries, too many unanswered questions. “Everything I do is my own choice. Forus.”

He kissed her shoulder. “I don’t mean to upset you. Our time is so short, so precious. Please don’t be angry with me.”

“I’m not. But I want you to have faith in me.” She relented, holdinghis trusting face in her hands. He was still a boy, after all, who would rather imagine the light even when darkness stared him in the eyes.

It was as the Emperor had said: some sought peace without understanding its costs. Thinking of Emperor Jun’s charming humor and calm voice while in Wei’s arms was so unsettling, Xifeng hid her face in his chest.I am destined for another,she wanted to tell him,and he is the reason I can’t give you my whole heart.

“I wish I could walk you back. I don’t want to leave you just yet.”

He pulled back and looked at her wistfully, as though she were already gone. “The soldiers would want to know where you came from.”

“I’ll see you again soon. My friend will help us.”

“Do you promise?”

She answered him with her lips. They stood and held on to each other, breaking apart reluctantly when footsteps sounded once more on the palace walkway.

And then it was back through the fragrant tangle of the Imperial gardens, the moon still shining overhead as she kissed Wei goodbye and faithful Kang opened the door for her.

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