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Again.

Maybe it was the moment we kissed.

Maybe it was her eyes as she came.

Maybe it was how comfortable we were just lying in each other’s arms.

Whatever it was, I knew I was on a bigger mission than I ever anticipated. Somehow, some way, I needed Jesse to fall in love with me. I needed her to take my heart,keepit safe, and give me hers so that there was never a night I couldn’t be in her arms and in her bed.

She was guarded, and I understood why, but I also knew she felt everything I did. I knew we were supposed to be together, and she had to know that I would never be done trying to make her realize how much.

“Come see me at the station today. Bring Max,” I insisted, working on the strength to get up from her bed. “I don’t want to have to wait till Monday to see you two again.”

“Dangerous.”

“No it's not,” I laughed, pulling her into my arms. “It's the safest place in town.”

“Not for a girl who has to keep some poorly constructed walls around herself, especially when she’s around a man that carries a sledgehammer in his pants.”

My laugh was loud enough to wake Max, and I quickly covered my mouth to suppress the noise. Jesse laughed with me, proud of herself for such an astute analogy.

“I promise not to hurt you with it,” I continued laughing.

“Yeah well,” she swatted at me playfully, “I’ve heard that before.”

“How so?”

Of all our talking, her ex—and my issues with Rory—had somehow stayed out of it. But I wanted to know what happened with Max’s dad. What kind of guy must he be that he’d willingly choose not to be in Jesse and Max’s life? At the very least, wouldn't he want to be a dad?

“My ex is a financial consultant for a lot of big name clients. He wears a suit, his hair is always done, and he looks like he could rule the world. You’d never know that underneath that pretty package is a drug addicted asshole. He once told me he’d never hurt me, but when my mom got sick, when I got pregnant, ya know, when I needed him the most…he told me to get lost. So I did.”

Fucking dickhead.“When was the last time you saw him?”

“When I was in Atlanta, he’d knock on my door every few months and try to charm me into having sex with him. He’d never even glance at Max or worry about his existence. I’d always kick him out and he’d leave with no issues. But the last time I saw him was a few weeks before I moved here. He had started using again and he escalated his attempt to sleep with me by breaking into my apartment. Thankfully, he left when I threatened to call the cops. A week later, this place fell into my lap. I had been wanting to move anyway, so it seemed like the sign I needed to finally do it.”

My heart was threatening to beat out of my chest. Jesse spoke as if her story wasn’t a big deal, but I was clenching my fist, mentally telling myself that driving to Atlanta was a bad idea. Beating someone I didn’t know would have been a poor choice.

“It's kinda funny,” Jesse huffed a small laugh, but nothing seemed sincerely funny. “Clay had broken into my apartment and scared me to death when I saw him in my living room. I met you after you scared me to death, thinking you broke into my house.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

It wasn’t funny, as in ha-ha. It was funny as innotfunny at all. She must have assumed at first that I was Clay. Her fear in that moment, not to mention her strength, was so much clearer and kind of mesmerizing.

“Does he know where you live?” I dared to ask, wondering if she or anyone had told him.

“Nah, I’m not even sure he knows I moved. Like I said, he only comes around every few months. Next time he knocks on my old apartment door, he will meet Yannick, the French chef that took over my lease.”

“He won’t hurt you,” I promised, gritting the words out not only to her, but to myself.

“He won’t,” Jesse assured us both. “I don’t need a hero, remember? But you can see now why I’ll always have my guard up. Max needs me more than I need anyone else, and as much as I like you,” she tapped my chest mindlessly, “this is all I have to give.”

I wasn’t going to deny that the things that happened in our past were directly related to the decisions we made for our future. I had spent my entire life avoiding the feelings I had for Jesse because I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. Not just from heartbreak, but from them being ripped from this world. It was a pain I wasn’t sure I would survive again.

But it was a chance that Jesse made worth taking. And I knew that I would do everything, and anything, it took to protect her. We couldn’t always choose our fate, but we could try our damnedest not to tempt it.

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