Page 51 of The Love We Make

Once his shorts were loose, he used both hands to unbutton my shirt. I had forgotten I was wearing his jersey, but when he pieced it together, I realized he liked it. Loved it. But just like him, I was ready to lose it, so I started helping him in a rush with the buttons and popping the front of my bra open.

He didn’t even wait for me to get my arms out of the sleeves before his mouth was on my breasts. I was almost convinced he could make me come just like that, not even touching me—no hands.

Lust was taking over more and more. I was once again forgetting that he was my best friend, that this was my first time, that I technically didn’t know what I was doing.

I forgot.

I ran on instinct.

And instinct had me feeling him up to grab ahold of his dick once his shorts were down.

He drew a breath between his teeth and looked down at where I held on to him, running my hand up and down gently.

“Maddy, baby? I am a fucking hairpin trigger right now and if you keep touching me then you won’t be getting what you want tonight.”

I withdrew my hand, unsure how serious he was. But I did look and take in the fact that Ethan was now naked in front of me.

My mouth practically salivated, he was perfect. Strong, athletically built, muscular but not overly so.

Huge!

My mouth dropped open when I took in his size. I was so wrapped up in touching him I didn’t register until now how big he was.

Oh shit.

My face must have spoken the words out loud without me knowing because he instantly shut my jaw with his hand and whispered, “You’re ready.”

But was I? This was going to hurt. Ok, real talk—I could barely use tampons. I did, but they freaking hurt. So I was starting to visibly shake in fear.

“Hey, hey, you’re ready baby. Lay back.” Ethan was trying to talk gently, soothe me. But it didn’t work. Not until his mouth found mine again and I was once again lost to the lust, did I settle down. I needed to stay right there—lost.

But I was not lost.

I felt sofound.

For two people that knew everything about each other, I felt like this was the first real moment of our lives.

A new wave of pleasure ran through my body. Ethan must have sensed it because he lined his own body up with mine. His tip started tapping at my entrance and anticipation raced through me.

I was still scared. But I was with the right person. I was with someone I trusted and someone that wouldn’t judge me if I couldn’t handle it. I was reassured that this was exactly how I should have been losing my virginity.

Making love to my best friend.

Ethan pulled back from our intense kiss. His lips were still touching mine, but all I felt was his breath against me. Both of his elbows were on each side of me, holding his weight off of me.

“Ready?” He asked gently.

I nodded but I started to tear up. My hands were around his back and I knew I couldn’t wipe the tears away before he saw them. I thought if he saw me cry he would jump away, call it all off. But he kissed my tear as it slowly dripped from the corner of my eye.

I wasn’t completely sure why I was crying. I wasn’t scared enough to cry, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t mad. I was emotional. But still, tears seemed excessive.

You ready?

It was his words. They are what made me cry.

His compassion.

His sweetness.

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