Page 28 of The Love We Make

“You’re right, Maddy. No one will ever love you as much as I do. It may not be the right kind of love but if you are dead set on wanting to lose your virginity, at least you know you can trust me.”

“You’re serious?” She asked.

“Yep. But I have my own conditions.”

She started nodding, already agreeing to whatever I was going to say.

“Like I said, after the All-star game is the first condition. Second, we don’t tell anyone else. We don’t need outside opinions and noise.”

“Yes, I thought about that too. What else?”

“You cannot freak me the fuck out and try hopping into bed with a stranger before then. Be good. Stop making me crazy.”

She rolled her eyes, “But if I end up in bed with someone before then, that lets you off the hook.”

“I don’t want to be off the hook if it means you calm the fuck down and stop putting yourself out there the way you have been. It scares me. You deserve better.”

“Ok, ok, deal. What else?”

“I will make love to you but I will not fuckingpokeyou.”

She flushed red, remembering last night and feeling the burn of humility.

“Lastly,” I said, putting my hands on my hips, “You have to promise to stay my best friend always.”

I must have looked sad or down on that last part because she hopped off the bed and hugged me, “Always, Ethan.” She buried her cheek into my chest and I hugged her tight. This was a big fucking deal.

Huge.

But this wasn’t a hardship. I wasn’t a hero. Madison was gorgeous and the man in me was all in when it came to getting inside her.

The friend in me was scared shitless.

She probably didn’t think so, but this was going to change everything. We would never be the same. We may still be best friends, but there would always be an asterisk next to our names. Was it worth it?

I couldn’t answer that. I wanted her to be happy and safe and loved. This was an example of me saying yes and giving Madison anything she wanted. I always did and I always would.

But this was also a selfish move on my part. By being her first, I was ensuring that I got my way, that she wouldn’t lose her virginity in some slimy bar to some douche bag prick. She wouldn’t be so desperate and I wouldn’t have to worry about her so much.

She moved back and looked up at my face, “Deal.”

“Good. Now that we have that settled, I have to go home and get some things and then try pitching a game tonight.”

“Want me to come?”

I smiled, “Always.”

???

Madison went into work long enough to check her emails and I picked her up on my way to the stadium. She didn’t come early with me very often. Most of the time she would just show up after she got off work.

Not today.

She insisted on playing semi-hooky and riding with me. I think it was her way of making me happy after what I agreed to this morning. She knew I loved it when she came and hung out before the game. She always made an attempt to keep us even.

I got changed quickly and headed to the field. Fans didn’t start showing up for another thirty minutes but I had a routine I adhered to on pitching days.

First, I took batting practice. I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, but it gave me an outlet for the energy I had building up. Madison always teased me that she could hit the ball farther than I could, but I wasn’t brought here to hit the ball over the fence. I was brought here, and paid the big bucks, to pitch. And I did it well.

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