Page 24 of The Love We Make

Ethan’s eyes looked ready to bulge out of his head.

I realized this was a weird condition. He wanted me to go to the All-star game. And I wanted to go more than I wanted almost anything.

Almost.

I wanted to have sex more.

Up until last night, I had never considered Ethan being the one I could lose my virginity to. Never. It wasn’t even on the table of options. He was basically my brother.

But he wasn't.

And after he whispered he loved me last night, it hit me—he loved me. And he wasn’t my brother.

Sure, maybe it wasn’t the way a man was supposed to love a woman. We both always told each other we loved one another. His words weren’t new or meaningful in any other manner than they were the last million times he told me. Just two lifelong friends that sincerely loved one another.

But it was he who insisted I save myself for someone that loved me. For someone that I would always remember fondly and never regret being with. He was the one that insisted someone should make love to me and cherish the moment of being my first.

Who better to do it with than the one that made the rules?

“I’m sorry, what?” He asked.

“I tried putting it into your terms, Ethan. But I can definitely elaborate if I need to.”

“Yes, elaborate.”

“Make love. You know… sex, fuck, coitus, intercourse, copulation…”

“Stop!” He stared at me in silence for a minute, surely contemplating my sanity.

But then he broke out in a loud laugh. The kind that hurts the stomach and makes you bend at the waist.

He was laughing at me.

I instantly teared up a little, mostly from embarrassment. I knew he may say no, but I didn’t expect him to laugh.

“Never mind.”

I turned to head to his room to change back into my clothes and hide my eyes.

“Wait, Maddy. Wait.” I stopped but didn’t turn back around. “I thought you were joking.”

Joking? I whipped back around so he could see how serious I actually was. One look at my face and he jumped from his stool to come to me. He grabbed my arms and looked at my pink face, my watering eyes.

“I thought you were joking,” he repeated, this time as a whisper. He pulled me into a hug and rocked me back and forth.

“I need to get home and get ready for work.” I pushed away and changed the subject. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He obviously wasn’t going to help me and I needed to respect that.

“I didn’t say no,” he said abruptly.

“It’s ok, Ethan. Really. I know how strange of a request it is. Trust me. But I really do need to get ready for work.”

“I’m coming over after my game tonight.”

For sex?I wanted to ask. But didn't. “Ok.”

“We can talk or whatever.”

“Ok,” I nodded.

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