Page 21 of The Love We Make

He flinched at my words. I didn’t want him to disappear from my life, I just wanted him to back off. He stayed quiet and buckled his pants back but left his shirt on the floor. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a drink.

Then he poured one for me—vodka, top shelf, over ice with a squeeze of lemon. Just like I like it.

“What changed?” I asked, breaking the silence. “Other than me drunkenly declaring I wanted to lose my virginity, what changed?”

“That was all that changed, Maddy. I know you will meet someone and fall in love and live happily ever after, just the way you want. But I hated seeing you, so damn pure and perfect, succumbing to your friend’s peer pressure to have sex.”

Fair enough. I was definitely feeling their pressure and it was definitely driving me to want to lose my virginity. But there was more to it.

“You know, guys don’t like virgins. My virgin status has scared quite a few guys away.”

Ethan scoffed and took a sip of his whiskey. “Then you haven’t met the right guy. Because someone that loves you will gladly make love to you.”

I gave him a fake smile. “Doesn't work that way.”

“It does. It should.”

“Every time someone finds out I am a virgin, they think I am saving myself for love and marriage. They assume I expect them to move fast and love me, and I don’t. I never get far enough with a man to fall in love.”

“You don’t deserve to lose your virginity in a dirty bar bathroom or with someone that will leave after they come.”

“I’m past caring where and when. Plus, I read that the first time sucks. They are not fun and they are not magical. Might as well just do it and get it over with.”

“You're the best person I have ever known, Maddy. I love you so much. I don’t want a few moments of weakness to change you. I don’t want you to ever lose sight of how much you deserve from a man, or from anyone.”

I was ready to fight with him when I got here, to yell and scream. But all I really wanted to do now was hug him. He seemed so defeated and sad. And not for any other reason than he meant what he was saying. He wanted me to know my worth.

“I love you too, Ethan. I know you mean well. I know you are just trying to protect me, but I need you to stop stalking me. Stop sending Chase to check-in. Stop sending my building manager to check-in.”

He flinched and I laughed. He thought I didn’t know about that, that it was normal for her to just stop by and ask about the weather. I wasn’t completely sure he set that up until now, but I had assumed.

“I give,” he said. “I will back off.”

“You have to,” I pleaded.

“I will. I swear. I’m done.” He raised his hands in defeat, sadness on his features.

“Thank you.”

He nodded and quietly sipped his drink for a minute. It was those few minutes when everything started to fall back into place the way it was supposed to. When Ethan and I went back to being us. No animosity and no hate.

No yelling.

I finally smiled at him and took a sip of my drink as well.

“So, since you’re here, I have some good news,” Ethan said, getting close to me. “I booked us for a weekend in Lake Tahoe. Just like we used to do. We can fly out after my last game before the All-star break and fly back a few days later.”

He was so excited, jumping up and down on his feet like a kid.

I smiled but shook my head no. He instantly stopped, looking sad again.

“Ethan, you’re going to be at the All-star game. You will be invited. Have you seen your numbers?”

“Yeah, I might be invited. But I already booked the trip. So even if I am invited, I can skip. You mean more to me and I owe you for the shit I have been giving you.”

I laughed. He was ridiculous.

“As your best freaking friend, you think I will let you miss the All-star game?”

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