Page 43 of Dash

“Why not?” His chest lifted and fell. “If the pieces fit…”

On the day those pictures came into my hands, I’d messed up beyond repair. Back then, my father had made a solid case and Astor security had confirmed the pics. By doubting Dash’s integrity, I’d committed an unforgivable offense in his eyes. I’d aggrieved his honor and offended his pride. I’d hurt the most fundamental parts of him and for that, I’d never forgive myself.

But he was being merciless. Mean. Cruel. Cold. So detached, so angry. I swallowed a sob. He didn’t want to listen to me. He was done. Why try to appease a man who’d already decided I wasn’t worth crap, let alone another go?

“You have no idea of how I felt when you left,” I mumbled.

As if it was possible, his face hardened. “This world, Thena, your father’s world, it has swallowed you whole. It has devoured you and spat you out in a new form, as a clone of your father, a very different creature from the woman I fell in love with.”

“That’s a low blow.” I blinked off tears and willed my voice not to shake. “You know I never wanted to be like him.”

“I’m being factual,” he stated. “You refused to speak with me. Remember?”

“I’m not like him!”

“Then why the hell are you standing here all alone, unable to trust a single person in your life?” he demanded. “Even your sisters left you while you stuck with your lying, scheming father. What the fuck does that say about you?”

I took an angry swipe at the tears that escaped my eyes. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” He screwed his face. “All this talking. It’s a waste of time and energy. I won’t impose my presence upon you anymore.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Peons will always be peons and I’m a good, handy one to have around,” he grumbled. “I’ve been shoving manure, mucking the Astor’s stables all my life. I’m done with that shit. You’re safe here. You’ll follow my associates’ instructions to the letter. I’ll get you in and out of your party tomorrow. We’ll perform as you suggested. Then we’re off to Wyoming. That monstrosity your father built is big enough for both of us to do our jobs without seeing each other much. If you play by the rules, the future I can guarantee you is the one you envisioned for yourself.”

“And, according to Dashiell Dagger, who knows it all, what kind of future is that?”

“One without me.”

He stepped out of the room and closed the door, leaving me behind with my heart in tatters.

Chapter Twelve

Thena

There were times in life when a woman had the right to break down, when her reservoir of pain and grief was so vast that she had to own up to her failures and losses, allow the misery to overflow her banks, and release a flood of despair to destroy everything, including her fortitude.

As I watched Dash exit from my life yet again, I choked on my own tears. My legs ran out of strength and my knees failed. I plopped down on the bed, dipped my face in my hands, and fell apart.

Falling apart was one of the lessons my mother had imparted on me on that fateful day when I was about twelve and she returned from a visit to the doctor. Father had been away, Nix and Dash had been at boarding school, and my sisters had been watching a TV show. She’d asked me to look after my sisters for a day or so while she took a little time for what she called “falling apart.”

I’d looked up and met her lustrous dark eyes. “Can I come with you?”

“There are some things a woman must do alone.” She tucked her long sable hair behind her ears and wiped a tear from her face. “Like being born, giving birth, resting, dying, and falling apart. Can you please be strong while I’m weak?”

“Sure thing, Mama.” I’d so wanted to please her.

I took care of my sisters while keeping an eye on Mom’s door to make sure no one bothered her until she emerged late the next day. From that moment on, she spent all of her time with us. What I hadn’t known then was that, on that day, she’d just received news of her imminent death.

She’d passed a few weeks later.

Today, after my devastating confrontation with Dash, I took her advice. I’d been strong for too long and Dash had blown what remained from my fortitude to smithereens.

Dash.

The grief flowed through me like a rampaging river. I wailed and whimpered. I even pulled at my hair. Pounding the pillows, I raged at the world, at my father who’d set a trap for me. At Dash, who’d never forgive me. Above all, I hated myself. I’d fallen for my father’s lies and betrayed the man I loved. My mistakes had cost me Dash, my one chance at happiness.

Combining lies with truth had been my father’s secret weapon to manipulate the world. Nobody knew this better than I did. Me, who’d stayed by his side even as my sisters claimed their lives for themselves. Me, the idiot who’d forsaken my lover and buried my dreams to please a man who couldn’t be pleased. Me, the fool who’d tried to honor the promise I’d made my mother on her deathbed even though I’d failed her in all ways.

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