Page 63 of Over the Edge

“I have to say I’m surprised.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Why did the detective care about South Carolina?”

“He wasn’t specific. I got the impression he doesn’t like to leave any stone unturned in an investigation. Plus I’m his star witness in the Robertson case. Not that I’ve been much help.”

“He could be hoping you’ll remember more.”

“That’s true. But other than the shoe brand I mentioned at our session on Thursday, no other details have come to mind. Do you think I could still remember anything helpful?”

He gave a slight shrug. “The human mind can sometimes surprise us, although memory does tend to become less reliable over time.”

“So if I do happen to remember another detail or two, they might not be accurate.”

“That’s possible.”

She sighed. “It probably doesn’t matter if I do. After all that’s happened, I think Detective Tucker will be inclined to take anything I say in the future with a grain of salt.”

“I’m not worried about his perceptions. Only yours. Let’s focus on you, and how you’ve been feeling now that you’ve had more than twenty-four hours to think about what happened. Any panic attack issues today?”

“No.” She picked up the water again and rotated the bottle in her fingers. “But I’m starting to feel paranoid. I even began wondering whether I could trust a friend who called not long after the panic attack.” She filled him in on her conversation with Madeleine.

He listened without speaking until she finished. “After you thought through the logic of her assumptions, did you still have doubts about her?”

“Not as much ... but I couldn’t shake them entirely. And that’s not like me. I’m not the type to overreact or see threats where none exist. But I’m starting to feel like I need to keep looking over my shoulder.”

“That sounds more like hypervigilance than paranoia to me. I often see it in people suffering from PTSD. Given all your recent trauma, a manifestation of hypervigilance wouldn’t surprise me. I would expect it to eventually subside, like the panic attacks did.”

“Except I came close to having one yesterday.”

“Triggered for a logical reason. And you managed to contain it before it got out of control.”

The knots in her shoulders loosened a hair. “So do you see any major cause for alarm in my mental state?”

Another hesitation.

“Not yet. If any more odd situations come up, we can reevaluate. At this point I’d suggest you continue to follow your usual schedule. That will help restore a sense of normalcy and balance to your life. You may want to avoid the lake for acouple of weeks, until you feel more settled, but don’t neglect your exercise routine.”

“I’m not planning to go back to the lake until next season, anyway. The weather’s supposed to change tomorrow, and I’m not a cold-weather rower. I’ll use my rowing machine on Wednesdays and Fridays for the winter and start my day with a run the rest of the week.”

“Excellent. A predictable pattern will help you regain a sense of control. How did you sleep last night?”

“Not great.”

“Understandable after what happened.”

“I tried my usual relaxation techniques, but none of them helped. And I’ve been tense all day today too.” Thanks not only to the lake incident, but to the mystery of why she’d opened up to Jack Tucker about South Carolina and why he’d taken off so fast afterward.

“Why don’t we do a visualization? I have a new one I can walk you through that’s been effective for most people.”

“At this stage, I’ll try anything.”

Lindsey eased back into the cushions, closed her eyes, and let herself travel to the garden Dr. Oliver described. She took in the expanse of colorful blooms as the grass tickled her bare toes, touched the velvety softness of the rose petals, inhaled their sweet fragrance, listened to the trill of a cardinal.

By the time they finished, her tension had melted away.

“Better?” Dr. Oliver smiled.

---