Page 19 of Fated

I think about my mum, telling me she knows I don’t dream anymore. Telling me I need to find myself.

I think about Daniel, pushing me to open up.

I think about Mila, how above all things I want her to always know love.

And then I think about the day I let my dreams die.

The whisper in my heart grows louder, then thunder hits, cracking like a gunshot.

I flinch, the noise ricocheting through me.

“Enough,” I tell myself, consciously relaxing the tension clenching my muscles.

It’s enough.

It’s just a pocket watch.

I’ll either dream or I won’t.

It’s not as if dreams are reality. It’s not as if dreams come true.

But ...

What could it hurt to try?

Nothing will happen. Except maybe I’ll have a nice dream. A pleasant, peaceful, restful sleep full of lovely dreams instead of the recurrent cycling of nightmares.

Decision made, I reach over to the wooden box and lift the lid. The velvet is as dark as the night sky and the gold glows in the moonlight. The glinting metal seems to vibrate under the light. I reach forward and scoop the watch free.

It’s heavy, solid, and warm in my hands. The deep blue watch face soaks up the moonlight and the second and hour hands stand still.

Slowly, breath held, I wind the watch. The metal twists between my fingers, and then, surprisingly, the watch begins to tick.

I let out a whoosh of air. It works.

I set the date and time. The twenty-first of June. 11:48 p.m.

Outside the rain begins. It falls across the window in a slow, tapping patter.

I lie back and pull my blanket to my chin, letting the scent of lavender and the weight of the blankets comfort me.

The drumming rain, the wind, and the rumbling thunder roll over me. I sink into my mattress and close my eyes.

In my hand I clutch the warm round pocket watch. Its ticking is a heartbeat keeping time.

In the quiet of my mind I whisper,Dream.

I fall asleep to the music of rain.

8

The sun isbright like the flash of a polaroid, startling me out of sleep.

I moan and bury my head under my pillow, not ready to face the world. It feels as if I just closed my eyes. In one blink I was drifting off to the sound of rain, and the next the sun is flashing insistently over my eyelids.

I suppose one mystery is solved. I didn’t dream. Not at all.

The time between falling asleep and waking up was a millisecond.

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